life goes on (completed)

nothing but disgust and sadness

Pam's POV

"There's my precious baby girl."

I said as I picked Mia up from her crib. Heaven looks a lot like Earth. We all live in houses but when we go outside, we walk of fluffy clouds and there's other angels walking around.

"I wish you got a chance to grow up. And I guess that's my fault. It was my fault that you died."

I said as I rocked her back and forth.

"Your Daddy convinced me that it wasn't my fault but I should stop listening to what he says. Especially when he tells me that he loves me and that we are forever. Cause clearly if that was true, he wouldn't have been able to move on so quickly."

I said as a tear fell down my face.

"I wonder if him and Becky had something going on in the last few months I was alive. Because there's no way he should've been able to move on that fast unless...unless they were already a fling. I wonder if Gabi and Dani were really as far away as he says they were or if him and Becky were just hooking up as I was dying."

I said with nothing but disgust in my voice. I looked down at Fergal to see him and Becky happily in bed together, just talking about whatever. It made me sick. It's not that I didn't want Fergal to be happy, it's just that I wanted him to care a little bit more about me before I was just a lost thought that he only cared about once a year.

And maybe I was just always a lost thought to him.