life goes on (completed)

guilt and sadness

"Daddy!"

Skye called as I walked through the door. Usually when I came home and saw the kids, I had a smile on my face. But I just couldn't get the image of Pam dying in my arms out of my head.

"Hey sweetheart."

I said as I picked her up and hugged her.

"Where's your siblings?"

"In the living room with Aunt Sasha and Uncle Sami."

Skye said as I put her down. I walked into the living room and hugged all the kids before sitting down. I glanced at Sasha who gave me a sympathetic smile. She already knew.

"Guys, I've gotta tell you something."

I said.

"What's wrong?"

Gabi asked as she bounced Rose on her lap.

"Your Mum died a few nights ago. Everyone tried everything they could but she didn't make it."

I said with tears in my eyes.

"No!"

Ethan yelled as he bursted into tears. I went to pick him up but all he did was scream.

"Let me down! You killed my Mommy. You killed my only parent! Put me down!"

He screamed as tears fell down his face. I put him down and walked down the hall as my own tears escaped my eyes.

"Fergal?"

Sasha called. I looked at her and sighed.

"Don't cry. Ethan will be okay. I'm gonna take him to my house for a few days to calm him down. And don't worry about Pam. She's in a good place."

Sasha said as I sobbed into her shoulder. I just need time to grieve with the kids. Cause this time...it's hitting me like a ton of bricks.