life goes on (completed)

breakdown

Pam's POV

I sat in my car outside my house as I continued to cry. The whole flight back all I could think about is how Fergal doesn't love me anymore. And it hurt.

I wiped my tears away as I got out of my car and headed into the house. I just wanted to go to sleep but I know the second I step into the house that I'm gonna cry again.

I walked into the living room to see my Mom rocking Ava to sleep as Mia sat next to her on the couch.

"Mommy!"

Mia said as she ran and hugged me.

"Hey pumpkin. Why aren't you asleep?"

"I wanted to see you."

"Okay well it's time for bed. Mom can you please put her to sleep?"

I asked my Mom. She looked at me and I could tell that she knew I was in pain.

"C'mon Mia. Let's get you and your sister to bed."

My Mom said as she walked down the hall. Once she came back, I bursted into tears.

"Mom, it was awful. All he did was question me about Ava! He kept asking me who I thought was her Dad but you know as well as I do that it's Aaron. There's no way her Dad can't be Aaron. They're like twins. And then he told me that he stopped loving me once I died! Who says that? Why doesn't he love me anymore Mom?"

I sobbed as she hugged me.

"I don't know sweetheart. What I do know is that you shouldn't be dreading on him. These last few months, I've seen you become more independent then you've ever been. You've become the best single mother I have ever seen and you're gonna have another baby to love and cherish. Why throw this all away over him?"

"I don't know. I still love him but...watching him with Becky hurts. I just can't do this with him anymore."

I said as I wiped my tears away.

"Then Don't. He let you go so let him go. Trust me, I went through the same thing when your Dad and I divorced. You just need to not let him get to you and be the best damn mother you can be, okay?"

"Okay. Thanks Mom. I needed that really badly."

I said as I hugged her. Maybe she's right. Maybe this chapter of my life with Fergal is just over.