life goes on (completed)

he's gone

Pam's POV

"Carter!"

I yelled as I used all the energy I had to run over to him. He was so small. He had so much life to live. And he was gone like that.

He had a small blue onesie on with ducks covering the front of it. Carter always loved ducks. Sasha bought him this small set of ducks, going from mother duck to the tinniest duck, when he turned one month old. He loved it so much. Too bad the onesie was ruined because of the blood in the slit of Carter's tiny neck.

"I'm so sorry."

I whispered as my hands met his tiny ones. They were as cold as ice. I remember the first time I held him. He used these tiny hands around my finger and thumb. He loved to hold people's fingers. He just absolutely loved it.

"I love you so much."

I whispered as I looked at him one last time before Aaron stabbed me in the stomach.

I shot up out of my bed as I woke up from that awful nightmare. But it wasn't nightmare. It's my life.

I stood up and began pacing the room; forgetting about the pain in my body. Where the hell is Fergal?

I started hyperventilating as I heard someone walk into the room.

"Pam, Calm down. What's wrong?"

Fergal asked.

"Carter is gone! He's gone Fergal! I carried him for nine months and he was gone in a split second! I lost my baby boy."

I sobbed as Fergal wrapped me into a hug.

"Shhh, it's okay. You're gonna see him one day. He's in a better place now."

Fergal said as he kissed my forehead. But those words still didn't take the pain away from my heart. I just miss my little boy...