life goes on (completed)

devastated

"Pamela!"

I called as I walked around the house. Usually Pam isn't awake before me but when I got up to get the kids ready for school, she was missing. I walked into the kitchen and saw a note sitting on the counter.

Dear Fergal,
You failed. I tricked you and all of those counselors. The only way I'm going to truly get help is to go be with my kids in heaven. I don't want to live on Earth anymore. I just want to be with Carter and Anastasia and Juliet. It's my fault all of them died. I owe this to them because their little lives were taken too soon because of me. Besides, it's time for you to feel a tiny sliver of the pain I felt when Aaron was beating me up. See you in heaven, Fergal. - pamela

I dropped the note as my heart started pounding. I immediately ran up to one of the bathrooms and noticed the door was shut. When I opened it I found Pam laying on the ground with pill bottles surrounding her. Her lips are blue and her face is pale. She had to be laying here since I went to bed last night. And that is about 8 hours ago.

I grabbed her wrist and started checking her pulse. No pulse.

"C'mon! Don't you dare die on me Pamela!"

I said as I started doing CPR. Gabriella ran in and instantly called 911.

"Don't die. Please don't die. I need you Pamela! We all need you!"

I sobbed as I continued doing CPR. Where the hell did I go wrong again? And how did I miss her cries for help again?