life goes on (completed)

i don't need you

Pam's POV

"Don't you think it's a bad idea to come here after what you said yesterday?"

I snapped at Fergal as he walked into the room.

"I'm gonna be here everyday, baby doll. Everyday until you get better."

Fergal said as he sat down next to me.

"Don't you get it? I hate you. You don't fucking know what I'm going through. I'm so sick of you meddling in my damn business Fergal."

I spat at him.

"You can yell at me all you want, I'm not leaving. I love you Pamela. I want you to stop feeling guilty about Carter's death."

"Oh, you want me to not feel guilty?! You fucking told me that it's my fault! Why do I even consider believing the words you say? Once I get out of here, I'm going to be with my son. I'm ending my life faster then you can fucking blink, Fergal."

I yelled at Fergal. I just want to be with my little boy. All I want is to hold him again. If I die, I get to be with Carter and Juliet and Leonie and Anastasia. I'll get to meet my baby girl Anastasia and be with Carter. That's all I want.

So it's decided. I'm gonna make these people think I'm sane so I can get the fuck out of here. And once I'm out of here, I'm gonna end my life. And no one is gonna stop me. Not any therapist, any of my friends, and definitely not Fergal.