More Espresso Less Depresso

Afraid

When I wake up, I'm afraid somebody else might take my place. This is what it's like to be a Hargreeves, being afraid of everything. Paid that money, fake that dummy, ache my tummy on the fence, all the time. Paid junk honey, face so sunny, ain't that funny all my friends always lie to me. I walk down the hall hearing the other Hargreeves yell loudly at each other which was usual after Five had come back from the apocalypse. My name gets brought up so I walk into the room, "I don't like you, fuck you anyways. You make me want to scream at the top of my lungs." I shouted at everyone who was in the room causing them to look at me. "Whatever y/n, doesn't matter." I laugh loudly, almost falling over to the ground dying. "It hurts but I won't fight you. You suck anyway, you make me wanna die, right when I wake up." I rub my head breathing deeply trying not to laugh at them. "Keep on dreaming, don't stop breathing, fight those demons. Sell your soul, not your whole self. If they see it when you're sleeping, make them leave it and I can't even see if it's all there anymore." 

I rub my head trying not to snap for some reason. All the pain these people have caused me is just consuming my thoughts. "Being me can only mean feeling scared to breathe. If you leave me then I'll be afraid of everything that makes me anxious, gives me patience, calms me down, let me face this, Let me sleep." Their faces soften a bit as I continue going in on them. "Being me only means to be kept hidden, never allowed to be myself. I have to be a prodigy in somebody else's vision. I'm always kept in last place, always left out, always replaceable." I say calmly causing all of them to try and apologize. "I'm sorry, it's just that when we were-" I laugh interrupting them. "No excuses, we are adults now. We shouldn't be blaming past events. You can't even blame Regi. We are adults now who make decisions for yourselves." I looked at Vanya who had just walked in, "What's going on?" she asks innocently, "Family meeting." Luther spits out causing Vanya to give a confused look. "Family meeting without me? But you can have y/n who isn't even family? She showed up when we were 15." I understood where she's coming from. "Agreed." I whisper rolling my eyes, Vanya smiles because she knew I was always on her side. 

"It's not like that it's just-" Vanya scoffs in Luther's face and walks off causing me to laugh. We continue arguing until Five spatial jumps into the room. "What's happening?" I catch Five up on what happens and he gets mad at the others. "Why are you guys so mad over nothing? If Luther gets to speak his mind then Y/N get's to as well." Another argument breaks out causing everyone to walk off. Five and I are sitting on the couch laughing. "Vanya causes the apocalypse." I whisper into his ear coming to a realization. I gave him all the information needed, causing him to realize as well. He kisses me all crazy because I just possibly helped him stop the Apocalypse.

This is what it's like to be a Hargreeves, we are all broken. We are dysfunctional and may seem like we hate each other. We argue, we fight, we hate on each other, but at the end of the day we are always there for each other. We protect each other even if it isn't in a normal way. We are Hargreeves a crazy ass family. Before I had them I had always been afraid of being me and afraid of everything. If I didn't have them I'd still always be Afraid.