(This is an opinion of an individual, which may not coincide with the masses. The individual's taste, thinking, and way of perception will definitely be different).
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Cover: 8/10
Animated covers sometimes (for me), does take away the seriousness from what your plot intends to give. (again, this is just what I think.)
Title: 10/10
A smart and intriguing title – even more so when you read about social issues being addressed in the work.
Blurb/Description: 7/10
I am not really a big fan of blurbs that give away character attributes, I am more accustomed to reading or rather finding out about those from the way you write and structure your story. Also, it's way too long, so you can limit to just talking about both of them as a whole, or about their story. If you do want to include about the characters, keep it short yet intriguing. The blurb's length shouldn't compete with your book's length.
Creativity and originality: 9/10
Part cliched, part original. A lot of effort is put into structuring and organizing the chronology of your events, so kudos for that!
Plot and Flow: 16/20
What I loved about your plot were the backstories, and how you place them strategically to help with that chapter's trajectory.
What I was dissatisfied with was that it's a bit fast-paced, even though the chapters are long. Incidents and the way you describe them, characters and how they behave in certain situations, their relationships are what should make a chapter long, and not things being described or incidents lining up one by one without a breather.
Character Development: 7/10
If the plot's flow feels hasty, the character's development coincides with it. Even though we are still discovering a lot, the attributes don't align, rather it's just the past carrying the plot ahead.
Also, too many characters, and their relationship with each other, being introduced at once may confuse the readers and make it harder to keep track.
Writing style, Grammar, spellings, etc.: 6/10
What I loved - The dreams, however, are so detailed, I wish you'd keep that kind of consistency in the whole chapter. The titles too are quite interesting.
What may be improved - Missing punctuation, like full stops, commas, or even wrong punctuation, full stops, few typos here and there. Your plot seems more like dumping information rather than storytelling. Hence it makes it so fast-paced. There is no consistency in the elaboration of events, or just skimming past them.
Also, the tricky thing about writing in first-person perspectives is how you gotta be so detailed about every emotion, every action of the character you are writing about. I was in half on this. I feel you could have done a lot better.
Some suggestions - You can definitely tone down the usage of brackets, no matter how common, or how uncommon that information may be. Hinders the reading flow.
Also, one thing - the fact that you keep mentioning that the dialogue is sarcastic, or said in sarcasm, it takes out the whole point of the dialogue. Sarcasm should sound like sarcasm, you don't have to point it out to the readers.
Too many acronyms which the gen-zs use, not a good idea if you want the book to be read by adults too. Not because they won't know what it mean, but because it wouldn't look like a professional's work. Tidy up the mess.
Genre relevance: 8/10
Elements of romance are scattered around while thriller is there at every part. A little off-balance yet could be read with the same mindset.
Reader enjoyment and Communication with the readers: 9/10
I just want to appreciate you for taking up social issues, using the power of your pen to spread awareness in a form that could be enjoyable to everyone. This is what may connect to the readers, even more than the characters themselves.
Overall: 80/100
Something that could be considered for light reading, but not the issues that were raised in this book.
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