SCRIPTURIENT REVIEWS | OPEN

❄ WHAT STAYS BEHIND | SILVER ❄

Reviewer: PeterPan2210
Reviewee: fallraruei
Story reviewed: What stays behind
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                 Overall comments:
Based on what I read, I liked it. Especially the first chapter, that gripped me pretty well. The first person tone that you’ve used was amazing, to be honest and didn’t sound even a bit awkward to me. It was smooth plus those casual detours of thought you took between dialogues were pretty catching too. It’s a good book overall, a bit of improvement and you’ll be good to go.
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Cover:
7/10
The lights are too vague. Make the cover a bit more exact. Like maybe a guy standing at the top of a tower, something like that. Maybe get an official graphic editor to make it for you, ya know one of those shops on wattpad.

Title:
10/10
It’s definitely great because it gives me a hint as to yes, it’s about suicide and related matters.

Description:
9.8/10
It’s great. To be honest I wouldn’t ask you to change anything that is already there but maybe add a short scene, some kind of impacting scene from the book into your description. Like an excerpt.

Basic plot:
10/10
I have only read a few books where the person who tries to commit suicide had a pretty perfect life, including family life. Usually the conflict lies either with family or with friends where personal life is concerned and grades if school life is the area in question. But your character has it set, like not completely set but mostly set. So yeah, I kinda like it.

Also it’d do good to add in somewhere in the book that it’s inspired by ‘All the bright places' because you’ve mentioned the book a fair deal over the course of 6 chapters.

Content:
8/10
It’s good, no doubt. That thing you’ve done where you show people that 'Oh his life is perfect and then bam you drop the low key toxic parents but only due to circumstances' thing on the reader- it’s good. That thing is really good.

The overall content I really liked too. It fits the Y/A category pretty well, I’d say. Or maybe Teen fiction.

I liked that the friends realized that their friend was considering suicide which is to be honest, more realistic than those books where the friends don’t realize at all because how can you not? So yeah, I liked the content.

But the content was lacking in the drama part of the thing, it was very straight forward in a way, and I want it to have twists and turns and horrible truths and stuff. Things that make me think, “Oh shit, maybe this guy might actually commit suicide.”

Keeping one on the edge of their seats like most Y/A books with the suicide topics do. They don’t do it by constantly having their characters consciously mention, “Should I commit suicide?” because believe me when I tell you that an image of falling free, unbounded from the top of the tower is not a planned image that occurs when you’re fully alert, I’m saying it from experience. It just happens when shit happens. Shit goes down and suddenly you’re just having a video playing in your brain where you’re so done that you’re falling off a tower or you know, other methods.

So I want that shit to happen in your book. Plus you’re also dealing with the topic of suicide, so I need you to be very sensitive too.

Pace + Sequence:
10/10
Perfect.

Grammar + Punctuation + Tense:
9.5/10
Grammar God, for real. I found less to no grammar mistakes and no tense issues.

Structuring/Tone + Voice
9.5/10
Please, why have you gotta do this? The structuring was nearly flawless too. Some weird phrases are in there though, maybe you should recheck or have it rechecked.

Originality:
7/10
Not quite tbh.

Reader enjoyment
9.8/10
Do I need to comment? The 0.2 off is only because it was a bit too straight forward. Bit frigid, I need flow.

Overall score:
90.6/100

Great Job!

Thank you for choosing me.

I'm really sorry for being late. I have major exams starting day after tomorrow and I was too busy with the preparation for it. I apologize.

Please rate this review on a scale of 5 based on how useful it was and suggest improvements, if any.