SCRIPTURIENT REVIEWS | OPEN

❄ CARNAL STORM | ALEX ❄

Book Title: Carnal Storm | +18

Author's Name: winteringpages- 

Reviewed by: Iuminology

The review was edited by willow-wrxtes

Cover: 7.5/10

The font is pretty cool. The blue cursive is very visible. However, the thin white cursive font used for the author name and subtitle is very difficult to read. The little butterflies on the cover are really pretty and fit the plot, but the neon blue is really bright compared to the rest of the cover, making the rest of the cover hard to see.

Title: 6/10

The title makes sense and fits the story. However, it's a title that's very similar to other mafia romances. The title doesn't make your story stand out compared to the thousands of other mafia romances out there.

Blurb/Description: 10/10

The blurb is amazing. It gives me some basic information on your plot and also leaves me with a cliffhanger, wondering what will happen next. It ABSOLUTELY makes me want to read more!! Definitely well-written!

Creativity and originality : 10/10

While there are definitely some cliche tropes, you wonderfully portray them in a new way and the plot definitely isn't a typical, cliche mafia romance. The creativity behind your story is 100% there!!

Plot and Flow: 19/20

I LOVE YOUR PLOT!! However, I found your prologue to be a bit confusing, and I had to reread it a couple times because of your wording, but the end of it really got me hooked. The beginning was really slow, especially before the two main characters met, but after that it definitely sped up, and with each chapter it became even more intriguing with all the different twists and turns. You also kept telling readers about "teenage Indigo." Instead of talking about teenage Indigo, you could perhaps show rather than tell more often, which you did when talking about her.

Character Development: 8/10

I loved how you chose to portray mental illness in this novel, but sometimes it felt like your character's entire personality was her mental illness. Be careful and make sure that she still feels like a real person while also describing her mental illness. You describe her feelings extremely well and clearly prove what an amazing writer you are!! I loved your other characters too! Danielle and Gemini are super cool, and their banter gives them life.

Writing style, Grammar, spellings, etc.: 8/10

I love your writing style! It's so beautiful and descriptive. The butterfly motif was so beautiful and every time it was brought up in your writing, my heart felt like it was going to burst with joy!! I love the dialogue between the characters, and it flows effortlessly, making them feel so real. However, you had some grammar mistakes and awkward phrases that messed with the story and made it hard/confusing to read. Ex. "hoodie encased girl" is just really odd phrasing.

Genre relevance: 10/10

This is definitely a mafia romance, but I think you could sub-genre it as mystery or murder mystery as well.

Reader enjoyment and Communication with the readers: 10/10

I really enjoyed reading it, and I loved your little author notes. They made me feel so happy!!

Overall: 88.5/100

Overall, you are a great writer, and your plot was very interesting compared to that of a typical mafia romance. It wasn't cliche, which I love, and your characters were well-developed and dynamic. While your grammar was awkward at times and ruined the flow, your story was well-written, and your use of similes and metaphors and figurative language made up for the grammar. I felt like your story's slow start was really boring and made me want to stop reading for a bit, but after plowing through, I got to the good parts!

Tips – These are just friendly suggestions from one writer to another ~

Focus on your grammar and make sure that your words can be understood by the reader. I'd also recommend showing rather than telling in most cases. Also, you could focus on showing the differences between teenage Indigo and present-day Indigo instead of just talking about it. So, say teenage Indigo would've done this, but then have Indigo do something that shows growth and character development.