SCRIPTURIENT REVIEWS | OPEN

❄ HOMOSEXUALLY STRAIGHT | CASSIE ❄

Reviewed by: FmEver

Book Title: Homosexually Straight

Author's Name: sarcastic_mess

Cover: 10/10

It's a beautiful cover with great coloring and fonts. If I had to change something, I would put "-se-" with "-xually", separating the word into "homo-" and "-sexually".

Title: 10/10

The title is unique and fits perfectly with the story!

Blurb/Description: 6/10

Your blurb isn't bad, but it's too long. It reveals too much about the plot and, even though I liked the writing style, it was tiring. I suggest focusing on the main plot points (she's straight, has two gay dads, she's being bullied. Then end the blurb by mentioning the scandalous six and use the last line with the two questions). Avoid adding too many sentences and make sure you get to the point.

Creativity and originality: 10/10

Your idea is so refreshing and unique! I liked the different points of view and how you showed that bullying, prejudice, and racism don't have norms but can be directed to anyone and by anyone. I liked your choice to name the girl "Kirlia". I had to search the name (hadn't seen your note at that time) about the origins of it. It's perfect: a unique name for a unique story.

Plot and Flow: 17/20

Generally, I don't have any complaints. The pace is great, the paragraphs are connected nicely, and the plot is realistic but not boring.

The prologue was excellent. I loved the emotions, the opening scene, that you got straight to the point, and how you showed Kirlia's emotions. Well done!

Chapter 1 was really good. I liked how you subtly showed the difference between her old and new school. The rest of the chapters were fun, though nothing major happened. You mainly introduced the characters, though I'm wondering if maybe Kirlia became friends with the group too fast. I guess only time (and you) will tell.

Also, a tiny detail: the prologue and chapter 2 end with the same sentence. I didn't like the repetition very much, and I'm sure you can find a more intriguing sentence to end chapter 2.

Character Development: 8/10

To be honest, I was kind of afraid for this part because it's difficult to introduce many main characters without making them look and sound the same. However, you've done a great job here too. I liked how open and supportive are the scandalous six but, as mentioned before, I believe their relationship with Kirlia might be too rushed.

Also, I would like to get to know her dads more as well as Kirlia herself. Show more what makes Kirlia who she is. She's more than a straight person or a girl with two dads. What are her interests? (Apart from her favorite/not so favorite lessons)

Writing style, Grammar, spellings, etc.: 9/10

Grammar was mostly great, just make sure to use past tense in all your descriptions (unless another tense is required, of course). For example, in the prologue, in the first scene "...trying to pinpoint someone who isn't as cruel..." should be "...wasn't..." and "All the pictures...have been torn apart..." should be "...had been...".

I didn't notice any spelling mistakes, and the punctuation was correct too.

Genre relevance: 10/10

This story might be one of the best teen fiction stories I've read!

Reader enjoyment and Communication with the readers: 10/10

Your readers seem to enjoy your story. You could answer more comments, but I loved your author's note at the end of each chapter.

Overall: 90/100

I don't have anything more to add. I wish I could help you more with my review (which is very late, I know). You have the chance to write a great, one-of-a-kind story. Check the tenses, let the diversity of the characters shine, and make your protagonist unforgettable. She's friends with a lot of people but she shouldn't lose what makes her unique. So, find who Kirlia is (not what she seems to be at first sight) and let the story unfold.