SCRIPTURIENT REVIEWS | OPEN

❄ M.B.T.T.U | CASSIE ❄

Reviewed by: FmEver
Book Title: Man Belonging to The Underworld
Author's Name: @YourNeighborhoodNerd

Cover:
7/10
I like the cover but maybe it could be a little darker since the title talks about the underworld. I like the font of the title but I'm not sure if the yellow letters stand out enough.

Title:
6/10
It's very long and maybe you could avoid the parenthesis and add it to the description. However, I like the title, it's mysterious and intriguing.

Blurb/Description:
7/10
It's super small and there's a mistake. The final word should be "break". You could add a few more information, but, despite its size, I like it. It's simple, yet understandable, interesting and it caught my attention. Nice job.

Creativity and originality :
4/10
The characters and the main idea cannot be considered original because this is a fanfiction. I'm not sure what your idea is, what exactly is happening in the story because everything is happening too fast (more on that soon).

Plot and Flow:
15/20
Your fight/action scenes are great and I love the words you choose. Your sentences are short and create tension and suspense. But you could slow down the story. Add more descriptions, more background information. When I read the first chapter, I couldn't understand the time point or what had happened before that moment (I haven't read the books in years and that didn't help either.)

Character Development:
6/10
There are a lot of characters in your story which might be a bad thing if you don't use them properly. Even if it's a fanfiction, find ways to add depth to your characters. Maybe add new elements to their personalities, or find a story of their past that the books don't have. Also, write more dialogues. A nice dialogue can help move the plot forward but also highlights some personality traits. It's important to know your characters' goals and fears and make them clear enough to the readers. Slowing down the pace will be effective in this case too.

Writing style, Grammar, spellings, etc.:
6/10
Many paragraphs start with "As Percy..." It's important to not start your sentences/paragraphs using the same words/phrases. Having a variety and using some different sentence structures, you will make your story more interesting and enjoyable.
I didn't notice any grammatical and/or spelling mistakes. Use a comma when addressing someone. E.g. "Stop that, Percy."

Also, when using a dialogue tag (said, asked, etc) use a comma and when you have an action beat use a full stop.
E.g.
"Hello," he said.
"Please, don't do this." He clasped his hands, a tear running on his cheek.

Genre relevance:
10/10
That's a great fanfiction!

Reader enjoyment and Communication with the readers:
8/10
You could talk more with your readers but you generally have a good communication with them. I liked that you dedicated a few chapters to some of them.

Overall:
62/100 
I enjoyed reading your story but be careful not to overdo it with the action scenes. Also be careful with the transitions. You stop some scenes abruptly. You don't have to use a parenthesis or mention the place whenever the scene changes. Use dialogues or descriptions to show where the characters are. Last but not least, I strongly advice you not to add personal comments when writing. Keep your thoughts at the beginning or the end of the text but not while you write a scene, it can distract and hinders the flow.

Good job so far, keep it up!