SCRIPTURIENT REVIEWS | OPEN

❄ BE MY DREAMCATCHER | CASSIE ❄

Reviewed by: FmEver

Book Title: Be My Dreamcatcher

Author's Name: doTheDarkRaysExist

Cover: 7/10

I loved the colors and the peacefulness of the cover. I would change the font of the title (it's best to use one font), and I would use bigger letters.

Title: 7/10

The title is romantic and cute though it has no clear connection to the story. My guess (I've read up to chapter nine) is that it's a metaphorical title. I like it.

Blurb/Description: 7/10

I liked the blurb but I think it was too lengthy and revealed a lot. You could write less information about the lives of the two women and maybe keep the reveal about the affair a secret and use it as a cliffhanger inside the story. Also, I think you should double-check the grammar with an editor because you used a few informal phrases that affect the blurb negatively.

Creativity and originality: 6/10

It isn't the most original story, but I liked your writing style and the way you started the story in the middle of the action.

Plot and Flow: 16/20

I liked the story and the idea. The mystery of the woman's death was nice too, and I liked that you gave a lighter tone to it but also showed the tragedy and Eva's sadness and reaction to it.

I wish the story wasn't so Eva-centered. Charlene's life and existence seemed to begin and end with Eva, and I couldn't stop myself from wondering why this is her point of view and not Eva's. Apart from that, the story focuses on the drama behind Eva's wife's death and the relationship between the protagonists. I wish the story didn't move so fast so that we could get to know both of these women but also see how their relationship progressed.

Chapter 2 was indeed the best. I think you use a lot of short-sentenced dialogues and that increases the pace of the scene. Try to lengthen your sentences a little bit.

Character Development: 6/10

Eva is a great character with weaknesses but also strengths. You did a good job with her. But I cannot say the same about Charlene. I wish we got to know more about her, something that doesn't revolve around Eva. Adding a few secondary characters could help show other parts of their personalities. For example, I liked how you added those two people that came to investigate the blood. They knew Eva, and they (and the reader too) noticed how quickly Eva got attached to Charlene and how she started to behave with her the way she behaved with her wife.

Writing style, Grammar, spellings, etc.: 9/10

I didn't notice any grammatical mistakes, and the punctuation was correct too. I liked your writing style, but, as I mentioned before, you could add some more descriptions and narration to slow down the pace.

Genre relevance: 10/10

I think the story could be labeled as general fiction too but LGBTQ fiction is correct.

Reader enjoyment and Communication with the readers: 8/10

I like the connection you have with the readers, but I can't be completely certain about their enjoyment because the same people made the comments.

Overall: 76/100

I enjoyed reading your story. It's easy to read, and the small chapters are ideal for a quick, reading experience. However, you could try to slow down the pace and flesh out the characters better. Whatever you choose to do or write next, I wish you luck!