SCRIPTURIENT REVIEWS | OPEN

❄ CLARITY | SILVER ❄

Reviewer: PeterPan2210
Reviewee: Bonolo20K
Story reviewed: Clarity
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• Overall Comments:

I didn’t exactly enjoy it tbh. Wasn’t bad but the structuring and grammar was really putting me off of reading the book.

• Quick comment: I say everything as it is, do not mean to hurt you by any of it. But tbh, anyone who tells you that this book is perfect is straight up lying. Get the book edited by someone else.
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Cover:

9.5/10

It’s a good cover but the username isn’t visible, at least to me. Maybe change the font and the color because I’m pretty sure that I’m not the only one with a bad eyesight in the world.

Description:

6/10

This is me being completely straightforward because when I say I was dissatisfied, I’m not exaggerating at all. You can’t allow yourself to make grammar mistakes in the description! A description is you showcasing your writing prowess under a very short word limit. It’s your first impression. You can’t ruin your first impression by littering it all with grammar mistakes and incorrect punctuations.

Moreover it doesn’t even make sense because of the grammar and lack of punctuation marks. I had to read it over twice and piece together this word puzzle to figure out what the description actually meant.
Please have the description edited.

Basic plot:

8/10

I liked the idea, like the very basic idea of it. The contents however, not so much. Honestly there’s not much to say.

Grammar:

5/10

No punctuation marks at all, absolutely weird phrasing, incorrect grammar. I’d say you need to have the entire book majorly edited.

Is English even your first language?

Because of the grammar and the lack of punctuations, I barely understood anything in the entire story. The amount of brain cells I had to use just to piece together everything that you had written is astonishing. When I say I don’t use that many brain cells while doing my physics homework as I did to review your book, I’m not kidding.

It’s a request. Please have the book edited.

Structure/Tone + Voice + Tense:

4.5/10

It’s too high-school-ish, terribly so. There’s only so much high school-ism one can tolerate in a book.

The Grammar and consequentially, the tone of the story, as you already know were sub-par.
The phrases used were incorrect, some of them. Tense maintainence was alright.

On top of it all, the narration sounds so unreliable.

Overall score:

33/50

There’s so much room for improvement that right now it’s practically empty, waiting for you to fill it in.
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Thank you for choosing me.
Feel free to ask for any more feedback.

Also, sorry if I was rude to you at any point in this review. I didn't mean it but I had to stress at how much editing it needed.

Rate this review out of a 5.