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Review
Name of reviewer: Silver DeVonne Name of reviewee: Angiexvi Name of the story reviewed: Stems: short stories. Personal comments: Awesomely written, couldn't keep the book, or rather, the phone down.
. . .
Cover:
10/10
I like the overall bright and neon look of the cover. The font looks good too. Very clean.
Quick tip: You could change the cover up a bit by layering it with an actual plant stem since that is what your description says and it also has a major symbolic contribution to your first story.
Description:
8/10
Make it a little more relatable to the story. You've only used roses in the first chapter, so instead of writing just "supportive body of a rose" instead, you may also write something like, "A part that gives rise to human thorns of crime" it sounds interesting and doesn't reveal a lot except that it's crime/ thriller/ mystery short stories that you're writing.
Basic plot:
9/10
To say that I'm huge fan of mystery would be an understatement. I breathe mystery. And for someone who breathes mystery, your short stories were very, very good.
I really loved the second one a lot. Your main character in the second story gave me a sociopath on the verge of falling to psychopathy kinda feel and that was really great because a lot of people don't like touching the sociopath trope. You touched it, in a manner of speaking, with a hand of gold. A job well done, I'd say.
The first plot is why I gave you a nine instead of a complete 10. Though the first one is really good too, it has the clichéd obsessive ex-lover plot. As an individual, I lowkey expect you to first make me think it's an obsessive lover but then have me find out that it was actually the government agent doing his job- hunting her down and bam! Dead. It would be nice-er to see that she really was not capable or worthy.
Otherwise both the stories were awesome.
Grammar:
8/10
Minor grammar mistakes, not very glaring. Some of them can be picked out even without meaning to, others are a little more hidden.
The punctuations were something I wasn't exactly satisfied with. You've missed a few needed punctuation too. Read it over once and if you still can't find the minor grammar mistakes, contact me on dms.
Phrasing/Tone + Tense + voice:
9/10
By Tone of the story, I mean to point at the words you've used to create an air of mystery basically, which has been done really well too. Except there are certain words that I thought didn't fit.
Quick tip: Never repeat the same words in two consecutive lines or phrases. It looks awkward. You've done this with the word "violation" in the first story. Besides that, I think the second use of violation is incorrect. You can't say that the nature was in violation with her stride. Instead of "violation", maybe use "contrast". Also the use of stride here sounds a bit awkward too. Stride is a brisk walk or taking long steps, for example: Her strides were strong and powerful. Maybe use, "demeanor" instead of "stride" or if you insist on using her posture to depict the difference between her mood and the nature, you could also use "Gait" instead of stride.
For new words, use a thesaurus, look up synonyms.
The Tense and the voice have been maintained throughout the story which is a good thing.
Overall: 44/50 Well done!
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