SCRIPTURIENT REVIEWS | OPEN

❄LOVE IN SILENCE | CASSIE❄

Reviewed by: FmEver

Book Title: Love In Silence

Author's Name: pearlaceous

Cover: 7/10

I liked the font of the title and the colors, but the cover doesn't stand out. Also, it doesn't fit the title very well. It's not a bad cover, but it's not unique.

Title: 8/10

The title is nice and intriguing. I'm not sure if it's the best title for the story though.

Blurb/Description: 7/10

I liked how short and direct the blurb was. You explained perfectly the title and also mentioned a few of your protagonist's characteristics. I believe that it could be written better. For example, the first sentence is too long, you don't have to capitalize the "L" in "Little" and even though I liked the quote at the beginning of the blurb, it's not needed because you are saying the same thing at the blurb. I liked the way you ended the blurb.

Creativity and originality: 5/10

This isn't the most original story and to be honest, I expected a girl that doesn't speak to anyone (not even her father). Also, I believe you could do more with her character than make her completely anti-social. I liked the background story but the story lacks a unique writing style and a personal voice.

Plot and Flow: 12/20

In chapter 0, I appreciated the fact that you didn't start the story with the unoriginal "wake up" scene, but you info-dumped a lot of things. You didn't have to tell us everything about her family status, about her friends, and how she got that nickname. If you insist to start with the classroom scene, it would be better to slowly show all those things. For example, have someone call her "mute freak" and use a paragraph to show how everything started. Have Chloe talk with her best friend and show how the girl started talking to her. And then, once she's home, give little hints about the divorce and the rumors about her mother.

I think you have abrupt chapter endings, sometimes without having a cliffhanger. You just end the scene (it happens in other scenes too) with dialogue or a piece of thought that doesn't leave a lasting impression. There isn't any transition between the scenes (they aren't connected) and it feels like you rush into the scenes without revealing anything important about the characters. I like how you showed your protagonist's thoughts and actions but it's also important to show what other characters do around her. Give more time to show than tell what's happening.

Last, but not least, you can put the character's thoughts in italics to separate them from the action.

Character Development: 6/10

I liked reading how different she acted when she was with her father and when she was with other people. You did a good job showing how easier it is to communicate with her father. However, I'd like to see them interact more and not just shout/act aggressively to each other.

Apart from her father, I don't see any other developed relationship with other characters up to chapter 5. As mentioned before, you seem to give too many details about things that don't matter but rush into the dialogues without letting other characters show who they are.

It's important to have well-crafted, realistic characters that the readers can understand. Having an interesting protagonist (the backstory, her reactions, etc are all interesting) isn't enough.

Writing style, Grammar, spellings, etc.: 5/10

The main problem is that you don't stick to one tense. While your story is mostly written in the past tense, you sometimes use the present tense all of the sudden.

There were a few grammatical mistakes here and there. For example, "I love rains" should be "I love the rain". Or instead of "Glancing up for a while searching for Bree, however she was nowhere to be seen.", you can write "I glanced up for a while, searching for Bree. However, she was nowhere to be seen." You can use apps like Grammarly or find someone to edit your story because a lot of those sentences hindered the flow of the story.

Also, it's best to minimize the sentences that start with "and" and use more full stops and fewer commas. When using dialogue tags (e.g. say, ask), start with a small letter but capitalize if you use an action beat. Example: "I don't know what to do," she said. "Can you help me?" She dropped the books on the desk and sighed.

Genre relevance: 10/10

The story could also be considered teen fiction, but romance is right too.

Reader enjoyment and Communication with the readers: 8/10

You don't respond to every comment but to most of them and that's fine. Your readers seem to enjoy the story, even if some of them mentioned some mistakes.

Overall: 68/100

I liked the main idea but the story doesn't stand out from other teen fiction/romance stories. It's not bad; it just needs to be edited. Also, it would help a lot to work on the characters and to slow down the pace of the story.