SCRIPTURIENT REVIEWS | OPEN

❄ UNDER HER BEAUTY | CASSIE ❄

Book Title: Under Her Beauty

Author's Name: Kim_Jenzi

Reviewed by: FmEver

Edited by: ineedutoomuch

Cover: 9/10

Great cover! I love the colors and the font you used for the title. However, I would change the color or saturation of the phrase "killer queen..." to make it stand out.

Title: 8/10

Nice title. Before reading the blurb and story, I get the feeling that the protagonist is a beautiful woman with a dark(?) personality or someone with many secrets.

Blurb/Description: 7/10

The blurb focuses on the protagonist and doesn't reveal much about the plot or the other characters. It's well-written and full of mystery, but I wish there was more information about the story.

Plot and Flow: 7/20

The main idea is good. I like the background and that there are many secrets. However, there are issues with the way you present it. Firstly, you info-dumped the plot and characters' pasts. We are not reading a character review. Instead of talking all about their pasts in one paragraph, focus on the present and show what happened in the past through their thoughts and actions. You can also use flashbacks. Furthermore, you should avoid jumping from one scene to another. Use more descriptions, show how the characters feel, and slow down the pacing a bit as well.

Character Development: 4/10

As I mentioned before, all of the characters have lots of background. However, I couldn't sympathize with them. There wasn't enough dialogue or description. It's important to slow down and put yourself in their places. What would they think? How would they react given their past? By the way, make sure that the characters are realistic. Sure, the pretty girl has lots of fans, but would so many people love her just because of her looks? Give her more personality.

Grammar, spelling, and punctuation: 3/10

There are lots of grammatical and spelling errors. For example, there was a lot of confusion between "their" and "there." You kept interchanging between past and present simple; stick to one tense per scene. Also, the punctuation was off. Use commas and full stops when necessary. Dialogue has its own rules when it comes to punctuation and I suggest you search online to learn more about it. Improving those aspects will increase the reading experience.

Overall: 38/70

I suggest you keep writing, read lots of stories (preferably not on Wattpad) and maybe join a few book clubs that accept fanfictions.