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❄️ MY HOT FORBIDDEN NEIGHBOUR | ALEX ❄️

Reviewed by: luminology

Book Title: My Hot Forbidden Neighbour

Author's Name: indusleo

Title: 5/10

I do not like your title. It's very generic and boring. On top of that, it doesn't convey anything about the story at all. I'm also confused about how/why her neighbor is forbidden since it's not mentioned in the story. I liked your old title better. I think it matched better with the blurb (how Jacob's not sure who he likes). However, I understand why you changed the title...It definitely draws you in.

Blurb/Description: 10/10

I actually really liked your blurb. It gave enough information without giving too much and it really caught my eye because it's different from other romance stories on Wattpad.

Creativity and originality : 7/10

I thought it was really unique that Jacob is bi, but he's dating a woman rather than a man. Most stories that feature a bi main character usually have them end up with someone of the same sex, but I really liked how it's not the case with this story. Other than that, there isn't anything that is super original. Regardless of that, your story was still really good to read. Originality isn't necessary for a story to be good.

Plot and Flow: 13/20

Your chapters are really short which is fine, except for the fact that the chapters don't really move the plot along. Nothing really happens in the first few chapters besides Natalie and her boyfriend breaking up. I didn't even understand that she was bullied because of this until the year later when Jacob was introduced to her. The only thing you added to show she was bullied was that her reputation was bad, so Riley wouldn't believe her. Another thing I'm confused about is whether the story is completed or not. You have it marked as completed, but from the beginning to end, there isn't enough of a plot for your story to already be completed. The characters have barely even met. Other than that, I really liked the plot that you are creating. It has the potential to be an amazing story!

Character Development: 10/10

I really loved the characters. I think that they were really well developed already with the way Natalie went through her break up and how she changed because of that. I also loved Jacob's personality and everything about him is so relatable. The way you dealt with sexual assault was also really interesting since it was committed on a man, something that isn't talked about much.

I think it would also be interesting to show how that affected him further on in the story.

Writing style, Grammar, spellings, etc.: 15/20 

I liked your writing style. It's so bright and happy! However, it wasn't too descriptive and there wasn't much use of figurative language, making it feel more like someone telling us about a story rather than immersing me in a story.

Genre relevance: 10/10 

This definitely fits into the YA Romance genre. This story also feels very coming-of-age, emitting the vibes of young love and the changes people undergo through the help of the people they meet.

Overall: 70/100

While I really enjoyed the concept of your story, plotwise there wasn't really much going on. While the character's backstories are established the main plot and romance between the two main characters has barely even started. I really liked the characters and how fun and relatable they were! Another thing I enjoyed was the overall vibes of the book and how sad and toxic it is one second and the next it's so upbeat and heartwarming!

Tips – These are just friendly suggestions from one writer to another ~

Use more figurative language. It really makes the story so much more interesting and immersive. Show don't tell. Another thing is to keep writing! Your story is so interesting and it has the potential to be really good and it would be terrible if you just stopped writing. You've got this!