The cover really suits the content. When I first looked at the story cover, it gave me the insights of how the story was written. It was truly attractive to me. A reader could understand the story was going to revolve around three people mainly. The quote on the cover was also very much amazing. It increased my curiosity to read the story more.
Title : 5/10
The title was good to attract readers yet the story didn't actually suit it. Nick and Sarah were friends till what I have read and there was no mention of any forced relationships in order to gain something or there was no mention of any kind of deal with them. It would be better if you change the title a bit if you're going to write the story in a different way. If you don't want to change the title then bring up a plot twist and involve the content of a deal between them where she gets paid.
Blurb/ Description : 7/10
The story line would be good if you make it more clear. The description of scenes and the emotions of what characters were going through was a bit incomplete and the readers cannot really feel what is really going on. Here's my tip for you : describe as if you were right there in the scene and elaborate how you are feeling. Those words must be written from the heart as it really touches the reader's heart when they feel relatable. The story was going too fast and Sarah's pov was really confusing.
Creativity / originality : 10/10
Of course, I could tell the content was a hundred percent but maybe you could add more content and details. Sarah's past is already told in the story but it needs more attention as it creates the base for the story. That is how Sarah's journey begins. So maybe elaborate her past and add more dialogues.
Plot / flow : 15/20
A lot of scenes were missing, at least that's what I think. It didn't explain the after scenes of a particular part of the story. I feel like there must be some vivid details. It would be a great insight for people to grasp the story quite quickly. Explain the simple moments too. For example, Nick and Sarah hugged a few times, explain how it feels to be in someone's arms.
Character development : 8/10
I definitely can tell that the main characters have developed a bit but there has to be some more chapters to identify that. Sarah has become a bit brave and happy because she has a friend now. Hope is redefined in Sarah's case. Character development is not only telling the readers that the character has developed. Through their emotions and their actions, the character development can be shown.
Writing style / grammar etc : 5/10
Tuth to be told, I am not satisfied with the writing style. There were noticeable grammatical mistakes so I suggest you correct them as soon as possible. The writing style that you used was good but it was no advantage for you. The dialogues were not within the quotation marks and it was quite confusing who was talking and who was not. You must correct that mistake otherwise the readers may lose the interest in reading your book.
Genre relevance : 9/10
The story is definitely romantic in a way. I can see where the story is going. I want you to be specific in details when Nick and Sarah are around each other and so does everyone else. Describe how they feel and how they react with each other. That way, the readers can understand that the story is romantic.
Reader enjoyment : 8/10
Readers will surely love your book. The story has a very unique side and I never really read a story like that. I couldn't see much creativity. So, in upcoming chapters of your book, add some creativity, plot twists, and much more into the story. The story will be an addiction for many readers.
Overall : 76/ 100
If you can make the story much better, I assure you that the readers will love it. Focus on the details mostly. The details of every scene are missing and after you write any chapter, do check it again for any mistakes. Make sure that the dialogues are written within the quotation marks. Apart from all that, I loved reading your book.
Don't take it to heart and I wish you all the best for your book. Treat people with kindness. Love, S
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