Dream SMP ~«One Shots 2»~

★Blank - TommyInnit

Warning this chapter may contain inappropriate language and mature content.

CW - emetophobia, panic attack, self harm and scars, forced vomiting

Channel(s) - Tommy, Tubbo, Ranboo, Badlinu, Billzo, Aimsey

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Tommy's pov

"I just really hate this guy" Billzo jokes out, laughing playfully as others feed in to the bit.

My knee bounces, foot tapping against the ground as I force out a laugh. I feel so trapped and cornered. I've been over thinking a lot more recently. My hate comments have increased significantly. People asking how my friend deal with me, saying they probably hate me.

It's just a lot. My brain is having a hard time coping with it all. Doesn't help that my anxieties worsened with my school changes and all the travelling. The idea that everywhere I go, someone's gonna be watching. I'm always gonna be seen. That privacy I once had is no longer there.

I slide my phone off the table, putting I in my lap as I type a shaky message out to Wilbur. Typos make up the majority of the message as shaky hands rush to get out of this situation.

My phone rings with out even getting a response from Wilbur. Meaning he read and called immediately cause I only ask when I need an escape badly.

"Wilbur's calling, I'm gonna speak to him out there.. just gotta make sure everything okay" I say, swiping accept and putting my phone to my ear as I get up.

I squeeze past Tubbo, speed walking to get outside as my fingers wrapped around my phone tremble, barely being able to keep my phone up to my ear.

"Alright Toms, what's up? What's wrong?" Wilbur asks the minute I close the door behind me and walk across the grass.

"I-I.. I don't know.. I just.. I-I.. ca-can't breathe.." I say shakily, collapsing against the base of the tree as I wheeze out panicked and short breaths.

"Tommy, Tommy I need you try for me. Try and calm down okay, try and take a nice deep breath in" Wilbur says softly and I hiccup, chest and throat burning. My heart feels like it's gonna break out of my chest, it's beating that hard.

I feel dizzy and nauseous all at the same time. My head feels like its gonna explode there's that much pressure pushing in to it.

"Tommy.. breathe in slowly okay? You'll make yourself sick" Wilbur says softly and I attempt to try and breathe in some what evenly but it only shaky and choppy.

I cough, wheezing as my lungs fail to cooperate with me.

"Tommy.. with me.. in, two three four five. Hold, two three four five six seven, out, two three four five six seven" Wilbur says softly, talking me through my panic attack.

I breathe with him, following the sounds of his breaths. My heart rate begins to slow, breaths evening out as my heavy breaths slow.

"You're okay Tommy.. just keep breathing okay.." Wilbur says softly and I nod, continuing to focus on my steady breaths.

"I-I.. it's been a while.. since I had one that bad.." I say shakily, swallowing and licking my dry lips as my throat aches and feels drier than the Sahara desert.