Dream SMP ~«One Shots 2»~

★Time Changes You - Sapnap

Warning this chapter may contain inappropriate language and mature content.

CW - mentioned eating disorders, obsessing over weight, muscles and physique, depression, under eating, excessive working out, self harm

Channel(s) - Sapnap, Dream, Karl, MrBeast + crew

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Sapnap's pov

"Didn't want your cereal then?" Dream asks softly as he picks up the bowl of sludge.

"I fell asleep.. I spent ages editing last night" I say softly and he hums.

"Come get something to eat soon.. this slop isn't edible anymore" he says before going back out of my room.

I sigh, waiting a couple minutes before getting up and closing my room door. I slip open my closet, grabbing my scales from the bottom. I grab a pen and the journal before placing my scales in the same corner of my room.

It makes it more accurate when I weigh myself. I strip down to my boxers, needing to shower after this so I can go out for my run and then come home and stream. It's a consistent cycle.

It started last year in lockdown. The only time we were allowed out was to exercise. I slipped in to this routine. It was just running, streaming and sleeping. Every day.

I'd skip meals, nothing major. I'd run at breakfast, have protein shakes for the energy. Then it was skipping lunch because I'd be streaming. Then when Dream started doing more projects, I just began to skip dinner. I can't cook for myself and it used to be our one time of the day where we'd sit down together and eat.

"86 pounds.. fuck.." I mutter to myself. How have I gained weight? I don't get it. I've been doing the same thing for the past how ever long. Yes every now and then I'll eat an apple or a banana but not today. I haven't even had my protein shake yet. Guess we're skipping that today.

I was at 82 two days ago. How did I go up four pounds? That's frustrating. I'm trying to get down to a nice 75. Dream can't know this though. He still thinks I way over 150 pounds. He doesn't need to know I'm trying to loose 75 pounds which will quickly become more. I know the cycle.

I get down to my desired weight, it doesn't feel good enough so I loose more. It's what landed me in hospital at fifteen.. then again at sixteen and seventeen. After the eighth time and like seven different dietary plans my parents got fed up and sent me off to some psych place to help me.

It did.. I got more comfortable with some foods. It got easier to eat with out checking calories and what's inside. It got better. I felt better, felt happier and less fragile. Dream knew teen me, when I was in and out of hospital. He was always by my side. I don't understand why I feel this strong urge to hide it from him.

I know he won't be mad, he would want to help and god I know I need help. I know I need it but I don't want it. I like watching the numbers endlessly fall, watching my body become toned in to muscle and skin.

My hips curving and shaping as the body fat quickly falls away. It feels so nice, no excess skin or fat. Just muscle.

"Sapnap.. you decent?" Dream asks, knocking on the door.

"I'm in my boxers, gonna take a shower! What do you want!?" I call back, grabbing my towel.

How long was I just stood there?