With Me

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Ross pov.
I wake up and my hands are tied behind my back. I struggle to sit up, and a man walks into the room. He drags me towards a bucket of ice water, and shoves me under. I am drowning, and struggle against him. He lets go and I look over and see another man pushing Castle underwater. I jerk away from the man holding me and run. I kick Castle's captor. He looks at me and grabs my head, forcing me underwater. I hear Castle screaming, but it doesn't bother me because I know he is screaming for me. The man lets me up for air.
He grabs my neck and starts choking me. I can't breathe.
"LET HER GO! Take me instead! Please!" Castle is screaming.
The man lets go and walks towards Castle.

"No!" I scream.
I sit up panting. I close my eyes, but that just makes it worse. I feel someone take my hand, and on the other side of me someone is stroking my hair. When my breathing finally returns to normal, I open my eyes. I see Beckett stroking my hair, and Ryan holding my hand. They look at me with concern, and I try to pretend I'm ok.
"Sorry about that. Just a bad dream."
They look at each other, and Ryan nods slightly.
"Ross, are you really ok? You keep having nightmares. What was this one about?" Asks Beckett.
"Oh it was nothing." I reply, trying to play it cool.
"Sam, you can tell us." Says Ryan.
I shake my head trying to get the memories out, but it doesn't go away. The image of Castle screaming his lungs out is burned into my eyes, and imprinted in my eyelids. Every time I close my eyes, I am back in that room.
"I don't want to talk about it."
They both sigh and try to hide their impatience. I know they want to help, but I am afraid.
"Please don't tell anyone I am having nightmares."
They nod. I know they won't, and I am grateful.
"When can I go home?"
Beckett looks at Ryan. He looks at me, still holding my hand and says, "I uh.. Have to go. But I will be back."
He hugs me and walks out of the room.
I look at Beckett expectantly.
"Ross. I am a homicide detective. That technically means I am a police officer, and if I see something that's illegal, I have to take care of it." She pauses, as if trying to gather her thoughts to form words. "You can't live by yourself."
I can feel my heart starting to beat hard.
"No." I say. "You can't put me in foster care. I won't stay. I'll just run away like I did last time and-"
She cuts me off.
"I'm not putting you in foster care. I want you to come live with me."
Suddenly the memories come rushing back. I remember her asking before, and I hadn't known what to say. I still don't.
"No."
"What?"
"No. I won't."
"I'm sorry, but there's not really an option here. It's either that or foster are, and you've made it pretty clear you don't want to go there. Why don't you want to live with me?" She looks hurt. I feel bad, because that's not what I meant.
"No, it's not that I don't want to live with you, I just can't. I would be too much of a burden. I don't want you to spend money on me and I don't want you to have to worry about me."
"But I do that anyways. Ross, I care about you, and I always worry about you. Every time we go on a case together I worry about you. Every time you go home I worry about you. Every time you are not around me I worry about you. If you don't want me to worry about you then you should come live with me. You will always be in my sight, and I can protect you. And you will be safe. And no one-" her voice is breaking and her eyes fill with tears. "And no one can hurt you."
She takes a deep breath.
"Please. I need to know you are ok."
I am still trying to process everything she just said. I really want to live with her, but I don't want to be a burden. I don't want her to have to pay for my food or clothes. She senses what I am thinking.
"It's not a money problem. And Castle already agreed to help me with that. You are not a burden. I want you to be with me."
There is a pause.
"Ok." I say. "I will. But if you ever want me to leave, tell me."
"I won't-"
"Promise?"
"I promise" she finally agrees.

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