Castle's partner

Renewal

I feel a hand on my back.

"Hey." Beckett says cautiously.

She sighs.

"I think he was telling the truth. I think he really does love you."

I look up.

"It doesn't matter. He left. I'm surprised you haven't yet."

She seems shocked.

"Baby I'm not going to leave you. Do you think I am?"

My voice cracks. "I don't know what to think anymore."

She takes me in her arms, and I find myself comforted.

She strokes my hair.

"You're stuck with me for a long time ok?"

She lets go.

"Beckett we're not going to find Tyson."

"You don't know that."

I search her face, looking for any clue as to what she is thinking.

It reveals, nothing.

"I'm going for a walk."

"Wait. Before you go."

She looks around and seeing no one, she bends down and pretends to tie her shoe.

When she stands up she brings a gun with her. Her extra piece.

She leans in to hug me and hands it to me in between us.

I tuck it into my belt and put my shirt over it.

"I think someone might try something. Promise me you'll be careful. And one more thing. I, could not handle finding a bullet in your body from that gun. Do you understand me?"

"Beckett, I promise. I'm going for a walk ok? I'll be back soon."

"Wait, before you go. You told him to take you instead of us. Why would you do that?"

I squint at her.

"Let me tell you a story ok?"

"Ok?"

"When I was younger, everyone who met my dad thought he was a cop. He just had this façade, he seemed like your typical, hardened, seasoned cop. He looked like one. And people thought this was an explanation for his hearing problem, shooting guns for all those years. Plus the slight accent he had because he never heard things the way we do so he never learned how to pronounce them like us. Anyways, he wasn't actually like that. He was a teddy bear when you started talking to him. He said he loved me every time he left for work or I was going to school. One time I came home and started talking about what we were learning. The Holocaust. I told him about inmates that had to dig their own grave and watch as family members were shot. I also told him about one man who asked to be killed first so he didn't have to watch his sons die. And the Nazi's took pity on him. They did what he asked. You know what my dad said? He said he would have done the same thing, that he would die for any one of us. I knew it was true. But the part about it is, people like him won't say that out loud because that's just who they are. Unsung heroes. That was a week before my mom died. I think he wished he could take her place, and that's why he told me that. Maybe he knew he was going to die and when opportunity rang, he answered."

She's silent for a moment.

"So basically, you love us."

"Yeah. It's sometimes easier for me to show than to say."

"I know. You know we would do the same for you?"

"I know. I'm going on that walk now."

I make my way to the elevator and down to the street.

I pull out my phone and read the four text messages that I received while talking to Beckett.

I respond to all of them with one sentence:

Be there in ten.

Because I know I'm going to die.