I Am

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The alarm clock goes off at 6:00, and I hit the button as soon as it starts beeping. I run around getting ready, and Ryan looks exhausted in the kitchen drinking coffee.
I giggle seeing him like this. His hair is messed up, an he looks like a zombie.
"What?" He asks, completely unaware of how he looks.
"Nothing." I reply.
I smile a real smile, and I see Ryan's mouth slowly turn upward too.

We walk into the precinct together, and I forget that him and Lanie are the only ones that know what happened yesterday. As I sit in the chair next to Beckett's desk, I get pulled away by a strong hand. I am dragged into the break room and shoved onto the couch. Beckett pulls out a chair and sits in front of me.
"You wanna tell me what happened?"
"No." I say defiantly.
"Let me rephrase that. Tell me what happened."
"What Lanie didn't tell you?"
"Lanie knows? How does she know?!"
"Because she fixed me."
"Ross did you cut yourself?"
"No."
Ryan walks in and Beckett looks at him, seeing his bandaged arm.
"One of you better start talking or things are going to get ugly." She threatens.
I catch Ryan's eye, and nod my head slightly. He starts telling her what happened, leaving out the details of me not eating and me being afraid of him.
There is a slight pause after he finishes speaking.
"Ross are you still having nightmares."
I am taken aback by this question.
"Why do you ask?"
"You're tired. You've yawned three times during this conversation, and have you seen your eyes? No offense but you look like a raccoon. You are also jumpy. What have they been about?"
"I didn't even say I was having nightmares. What if I just can't sleep?"
"Just admit it. It's ok if you are, I just want to help."
"Ok fine I am. But I'm fine."
"What are they about?" She pries.
"I don't want to talk about it."
"Ok ok. But I'm here if you need me."
"Thanks."
"And I made an appointment for you your cast today at 4."
I smile at that.
"I can't wait."

I get my cast off, and I feel so free.
I walk out of the observation room where they took off my cast and into the waiting room. Ryan stands up when he sees me, and I run straight into his arms.
"Yay." I say like a little girl.
He laughs.
"I'm glad you are happy."
And I am.

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