Castle's partner

Survival

"Hey, he said you were underweight. An eating disorder? You told me you were eating."

"I am."

"So if I ask Ryan he'll say the same thing?"

"Mmm-hmmm."

She jumps up and runs to Ryan.

"Ryan!"

"No!"

"Has Samantha been eating?"

I stand behind Beckett and nod vigorously, trying to emphasize what he needs to say.

"Umm yeah."

"Umm? What does umm mean?"

"She just...doesn't eat very much."

She turns to me.

"You told me you weren't hungry. You said you were eating."

"Beckett! It's not a big deal. I'm not starving myself."

"You would be."

"Not true."

"It is true Samantha! Anorexia?"

"Beckett I'm fine."

"You need to eat more and gain weight. It's not healthy for you to be so underweight!"

"If I agree will you DROP IT?"

"If you promise to put on some weight and actually eat!"

"Ugh fine!"

"Samantha, not ok. Why didn't you tell me?"

I look at the ground and move my foot back and forth across the carpet.

"You never asked." I whisper.

"Ross... I know it's hard. I really do but you can't punish yourself and I know that's why you do it. Did he call you bad things?"

I nod without taking my gaze off the ground.

"They aren't true. Whatever he said was a lie. You don't need to do this to yourself. Everyone here loves you the way you are."

This time I do look up. And smile just a little.

"Now, you need some rest. You were awake all night. How many hours of sleep do you usually get?" Asks Beckett.

"I don't know."

"So not enough. Go home with Ryan right now and go to sleep."

"But I-"

"You are already in hot water with me. You have to take care of yourself."

I stay silent.

"Audaces fortuna juvat. Do you know what that means?"

"Fortune favors the brave." I answer.

"Go rest."

"On one condition. I get to come back later."

Her eyes narrow at me and I know she's debating in her head.

"Fine. I'm asking Ryan when you get back if you were sleeping though."

"Ok."

I turn when Beckett calls out me.

"Samantha? I do this because I love you. I did the same thing as you and I want you to learn from my mistakes so you don't do the same stupid things. I want you to be better than me."

I smile. "I don't think that's possible."

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