Baggage

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"Espo," Beckett interrupts our hug. "Why the hell wouldn't you tell me about that?"

"About what?" Asks Ryan's voice. How do people keep coming in without me noticing?

"The girl with the black hoodie." Says Espo. "It was her." He points to me.

"It was her?" He looks shocked.

"Wait, Ryan, you knew about this? How come neither of you ever came to me? You know I would've helped!"

"It wasn't your baggage. You had your own stuff going on."

"No, that's not okay! We're partners too. You should have told me. I care! Is that the day I sent you on patrol and Ryan was called to a murder, and you came back frazzled? And then the next three weeks I wasn't sure if you had gotten any sleep but you wouldn't tell me what was wrong?"

He nods.

"I caused that?" I ask.

"Inadvertently, yes."

"Tío, I'm so sorry. I didn't realize how much pain I caused you."

"Samantha-"

"Javi! You cannot do that again. You can't turn into me. If anything like this happens again, and I mean anything, you tell me. Understood?"

"Yeah Kate I get it."

I suddenly feel very overwhelmed.

My whole body aches, and I swear I fractured my skull.

The room goes silent just as I let out a soft groan of pain.

"Oh, the nurse said to get her. I'll be right back," says Beckett.

"No, Beckett I'm fine."

"I don't care what you say Samantha, you need medicine."

"Beckett-"

"Stop it! You need help, so why won't you accept it? You can't do it by yourself! It's okay to ask for help sometimes!"

I know we are past the subject of just right now, and she is talking about other things too.

I listen, knowing it's my best option right now.

Seeing my acceptance, she leaves and comes back with a nurse.

She puts morphine drip in my IV, and it's only minutes before my head clears.

"About what I said, about cops not helping me, I didn't mean that."

"Yeah you did. But that's okay, because you are right. It seems like they never did what was best for you." Says Espo.

Castle suddenly runs in.

"Samantha, are you okay?" He grabs me and pulls me in for a hug.

"Yeah, I'm fine."

"I have a question," says Beckett. "How did you survive on the streets?"

I stare at her.

"I can't answer that."

"Why not?"

I scratch the back of my head.

"Did you kill anyone?"

"No."

She sighs, and the three cops look at each other.

They all take their badges in hand, and set them on the table.

"Immunity, if you tell us how."

"You're offering me immunity?"

"I hope I don't regret this."

"You're going to," I mutter.

She glares at me. "Hurry up before I change my mind."

"Fine. Where do I start?"

"From the beginning."

"Alright. I had just left Brandon and Elizabeth. I was hurt, but I had my one suitcase of stuff from back home. I layed low for a couple days while I recovered. I dodged police and anyone looking for me. I waited until I was better, and then I started begging for money on the streets. Some days I got more money than others, and on the days when I didn't get much, I would..."

"You would what?" Ryan intersects.

"I would steal food. But I only took what I needed I swear! And then I would try and pay them back later, on days when I had extra money. I found an empty building the bank owned, and for some reason they didn't turn the electricity off, so I started squatting there. I used my computer and hacked into a WiFi network, and then hacked into online bank accounts. I only took a maximum of ten dollars a person, and from multi millionaires who never noticed ten dollars was missing. I didn't take from people who needed that money. Do I regret it? Yes! I wish I could go back and redo that, but I can't. And I didn't know there were other options."

They listen before speaking.

"You did what you had to to survive." Says Espo.

"I'm sorry, I know you're probably really disappointed in me. I am disappointed in me. I'm an awful person and a complete idiot."

"Stop. What you did, it's done. It's not a big deal, and I doubt anyone even noticed. And Espo's right, you did what you had to in order to survive. I'm not disappointed in you. If anything, I'm disappointed in myself for not finding you sooner." Says Beckett.

I smile a little.

"Actually, I found you."

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