Castle's partner

My Little Hell

He's right. I am.

"Little sis will you stay with me?"

I lay next to him silently.

"You tired?" I ask.

"Yeah, but it's so early."

"When I had my surgery, I was sleeping all the time. It's okay."

"I don't want to leave you."

"I'll go to sleep with you. But first can I ask a favor?"

"Of course."

"Don't tell the team about what we did. I need to tell them when I'm ready."

"The team?"

"Oh I didn't tell you about that part. They, are cops. My team."

"Oh that's cool. But they can access my records, the truth will come out eventually."

"You forget I have access to your records too."

"Yeah but no more doing anything illegal. Look where we ended up because we broke the law."

"You're funny Nick if you think that's gonna happen. I stayed alive by doing illegal things."

"I don't care. Unless you have to, no more. I mean it."

I glare at him.

"Now tell me about your team."

"What do you want me to say?"

"Their names, something about them."

"Well, first there's Beckett. Her mom was murdered, that's why she became a cop. Ryan was in narcotics, but he makes a damn good homicide detective. Espo is ex-military. Lanie's our ME, and Castle."

"What do you mean Castle? Like Richard Castle, the writer that bases his books off that cop lady?"

"Yeah that'd be Beckett."

"What's he like?"

"There's not much to say."

"Oh come on there's gotta be."

"Fine. He lies, and makes deals behind people's backs for what he thinks is best, deals for their life. He wants to be the hero when the only person he's helping is himself. He doesn't think about the consequences to his actions until it's too late. That enough information for you?"
I almost yell, and I'm on the verge of tears.

"I take it you guys are fighting." Nick puts in quietly.

"Yeah maybe we are."

"I don't exactly know what happened, but I do know he cares, and whatever he did he thought it was the right thing. Try talking to him."

"Thanks for the advice, Nick. Go to sleep, I'll be back in a few."

He nods curtly, and I leave.

I take the elevator to the top floor, and then the stairs to roof access.

There's a tall ledge, the perfect height for me to lean my elbows on, and stare out at the lowering sun.

It's not the heart of New York City, so the noise isn't overpowering.

I bury myself in my thoughts, mumbling and pacing back and forth, biting my fingernails and playing with my hair.

"I hope you're not thinking about jumping." Castle says from behind me.

I turn to face him, crossing my arms over my chest.

"What do you want Castle?"

"Look, I know I'm probably the last person you want to see right now, but just hear me out."