Castle's partner

Kiss Me Again

Ross pov

"How could you do this to me! Do you see the pain you are putting me in?" Oliver screams at me as I lay on the ground. I'm bleeding. I think I've been shot.

I try to speak, but I'm too weak.

He sobs, dropping next to me and taking my hand.

I wake with a scream. Ryan is holding my wrists, and I am fighting against him.

"Stop! Stop it's ok. Samantha."

He takes my hand and places it on his chest, and I immediately calm down. The feel of his steady heartbeat reminds me that I'm the only dying one.

After a few seconds, my fear has gone away. "Thank you," I whisper.

"You ok?"

"Yeah I'm fine. And before you ask I'm not telling you what my nightmares have been about."

"Not at all?"

"No. They hurt too much. And yes, I understand it helps but I'm not ready so please don't push me to."

"I get it. I'm not going to make you do anything you don't want to. But when you are ready, I'm here."

"I know."

For the first time since I woke up, I realize how boring and plain it is in here. There are flowers and balloons and stuffed animals, but it still seems so colorless.

There comes a knock on the door, and Ryan stands to open it.

Jenny rushes in, ignoring Ryan and running straight for me.

She hugs me and kisses my cheek. She smiles, tears brimming in her eyes. "I love you. I'm glad you're ok."

I smile because I missed her. I know it's only been two weeks but it was a bad two weeks.

"Jenny-"

I can't say anymore. My eyes fill with tears and I purse my lips to keep from crying.

"It's ok. You don't have to say anything." She pushes the hair out of my face.

After a few minutes of silence, she starts a conversation.

"Do you want me to bring you anything from home?"

I glance at the window to look at my reflection, and quickly look away.

"A brush maybe? Could you help me with my hair?"

Her eyes light up. "Of course! I actually brought a bag of stuff you might need and there happens to be a brush."

She takes it out of the bag, and I turn slightly so she can have a better angle.

She gently brushes my hair which is surprisingly soft and unknotted.

When she's done she does a loose French braid that ends halfway down my spine.

I twirl the ends in my fingers, admiring the nimbleness of her hands.

"Thank you Jenny." I face her. "It's been more than three years since someone did my hair. I've never been able to do that stuff. I barely know how to put it in a ponytail."

She grins a little. "You want me to teach you?"

"I don't know. I'm not really good at that kind of stuff?"

"C'mon please?"

"Alright."

"Yay!"

She spends the next hour attempting to teach me how to French braid.

I giggle as she shows me how to intricately weave the strands of hair.

I look up to notice Ryan sitting in the corner with a smile on his face. I forgot he was even here.

Just then, a doctor walks in. His eyebrows are furrowed and his mouth forms a straight line.

"May I please speak to Samantha's guardian?"

Ryan stands up slowly, and the doctor leads him into the hall.

I try not to watch, but I do catch Ryan crossing his arms over his chest.

I assume they are talking about me, and it doesn't look good, so I try and ignore it.

I glance back a few seconds later and they are no longer in view of the window.

It takes a few minutes for Ryan to appear again, and this time he brings someone with him.

Oliver walks alongside, he seems tired.

"Hey," he says timidly.

"Hey."

"We'll leave you guys alone. We'll be back later ok Samantha?"

"Ok."

We wait for the door to close behind them before speaking.

"I missed you." Oliver sits next to me.

"I missed you too."

He clears his throat. "So the doctor said he found recent scars on your thighs and stomach and wrists. They know about your self harm."

My heart drops to my stomach.

"No." I whisper.

"Please show me."

"I can't Oliver."

"Please." His voice drops so it's so soft I can barely hear him.

I can't hide forever I guess.

I move the blankets off of me and pull up the baggy hospital shirt they gave me.

Our eyes meet, and his hands connect with mine.

He guides the hem of the shirt completely over my head, and I am left in my bra.

I turn away from him.

"Hey, I'm not like them. I'm not going to hurt you. I'm not ready for that stuff either. I just want to see your scars."

"I'm scared."

He holds out his hand, and I take it.

"If you want me to stop, just tell me, and I will."

I nod.

I turn towards him, and his eyes fall to my stomach.

He reaches his hand out and gently touches one of the scars.

His touch sends shivers through my body and goosebumps all over my skin.

His fingers come to the bullet scar just above my breast, and I subconsciously shrink away.

He immediately pulls away, seeing I'm uncomfortable.

"These words, they're not true. You are the farthest thing from ugly and worthless I have ever seen. You are the most beautiful girl in the world, and you mean the world to all of us. You can't keep doing this to yourself."

"I know. I just don't know how else to deal with the pain."

He bites his bottom lip. He places his index finger under my chin and brings me closer to him.

"I love you." He whispers.

He leans in and kisses my lips, his fingers playing with the end of my braid.

When he stops a few moments later, the back of his hand rests on my shoulder, my hair still there.

I open my eyes as the warmth of his face leaves mine.

I smile. "Kiss me again."