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Alexis is still asleep when I wake up, and I have to get up quietly so she stays that way.

I find my way to the kitchen, and I'm alone.

I make myself a cup of tea, and yeah I know I'm old fashioned, but I don't like coffee.

I sit at the bar, enjoying the feeling of the warm cup in my hands.

It's been too long since I've had tea. Or had time to enjoy it.

But the thinking is what gets me.

I think I hurt Beckett yesterday.

I didn't want her to know.

Then I think of the others. Lanie, Castle, Ryan, Jenny, Espo, Oliver, Nick, Martha. I haven't seen them in so long. I hadn't seen them for a few days, and then we were taken.

I regret that.

But I guess I go back to being normal, well as normal as normal gets around here, and go to the precinct for another case.

I decide to head there, because I have nothing better to do.

As I walk, I become acutely aware of a throbbing in my arm, and when I look at it, there's a lump.

I figure it's nothing, that I probably got it in Paris in the rough transport or something.

When I get to the precinct I say my hellos to everyone and make my way to the back room.

As I sit there, my arm starts hurting, and the pain intensifies as the minutes tick by.

I know Lanie's busy, so I decide maybe I should go to the doctor by myself.

I start walking out of the building and down the street. I don't think it's that big of a deal so why not get the pain to go away.

I don't want to bother the rest of them because they'll make a big deal out of a bump on my arm.

I find myself in the closest emergency room because I don't have a doctor.

Shockingly, there aren't a lot of people here. That never happens in New York in the summer.

I wait for an hour or two before they call me in.

"Hi, I'm doctor Cohen. What seems to be the problem?" The bald man asks.

I show him my arm. "It's been hurting, and I just wanted to know if there is some medicine I can take that will help the swelling go down?"

He takes one look at it, and his kind smile fades.

"Can I get a nurse in here?" He calls into the hallway, and suddenly I'm being poked and prodded by him and two other nurses.

They take vial after vial of blood and I'm not even sure what it's for. It's just a bruise.

And I'm being rushed around, ushered into different rooms and talking to different doctors.

They're standing right next to me, whispering.

"Will someone please tell me what's going on?!" I yell, getting frustrated with the secrecy.

"Samantha, would you like someone here for this?"

"No! Just tell me what's happening!"

He sighs. "I'm so sorry to tell you this, but it's lymphoma, you have cancer."

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Hi guys, sorry it's been so long since I last updated. I started a new story called Castle: Lanie's Story. You guys should check it out. Soon I will be starting a Supernatural fanfic so keep a lookout for that too. Thanks for all the views and likes! DM me or comment for suggestions.

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