Cemetery

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After they see my scar, I pull my shirt back up to cover it.
They try to hide their anger, but I can tell it is boiling behind their eyes.
"Do you remember where they live?" Asks Espo.
"Yeah but they could have moved. Look it up in the DMV records."
Espo flies to a computer, his hands swimming over the keys.
"Ok found it. Brandon has quite a record. It looks like he was a prime suspect in the murder of his daughter."
"Wait. They do a background check when you get adopted. They had to have seen that. That means..."
My voice trails off and Castle has to continue for me.
"That means whoever was involved with your adoption, knew something about dads murder."
I sink into Beckett's chair, trying to process this, and bury my face in my hands.
Thoughts are racing through my head.
Were Elizabeth and Brandon involved in my dads murder?
How did they know?
Why did they take me in if they were in on the murders?
I can't comprehend it all.
I can feel everyone's eyes on me, watching me as I have a mental breakdown. I can't handle it anymore, and I need to get away.
"I'm going for a walk."
"Do you want me to go with you?" Asks Castle.
"No." My voice is rising. He looks hurt. "Sorry. No I just need to be alone right now."
I rise, and start towards the door. I make my way to the cemetery.
I search the rows until I find the one marking my fathers body. I haven't been here since his funeral. I lie in the grass as my fingers graze the hard gray rock. I feel tears dripping down my cheeks and I try to stay silent, but loud sobs begin to wrack my body. I lie facing the sun, my arm over my crying eyes.
I suddenly feel exhausted. The effects of almost no sleep for the past month have finally caught up with me. I know it's only like 4 in the afternoon. I didn't realize how long I had been at the precinct. The sun feels amazing on my body. It reminds me of home, when I used to lie in the grass in the backyard during the summer.
I miss that so much.
And I fall asleep like that, as the feeling of nostalgia washes over me.

Ryan pov
I look at my watch. It reads almost 8 pm and Ross hasn't come back yet.
"Hey has anyone seen Ross?"
They all shake their heads.
I call her cell phone, but it goes straight to voicemail.
By now I start to freak out. Where is she??
"Beckett I don know where Ross is. She left four hours ago and she's not answering her cell."
A worried look crossed her face.
"Ok is there anywhere she likes to go?"
"No I don't know! She hasn't asked to go anywhere except here!"
"Ok you go look at your house, I'll tell Castle to look at his. I'll call Lanie and ask if she went to the morgue."
"Ok." I practically sprint to my car and drive home as fast as I can without going over the speed limit.
I take out my key and unlock the door.
"Ross? Ross are you here?" I search through every room. I call Beckett on the verge of a meltdown.
"Beckett she's not here. I don't know where she is! Did you find her?"
She must have heard the edginess in my voice.
"Okay Ryan calm down we are going to find her."
"What if they took her? What if she's already dead? What if they're hurting her?"
"Ryan! Listen to me!" She screams through the phone. "She's counting on you to stay calm. We are going to find her, but we need you back here ok?"
"Ok I'll be there in ten." I get in my car and start driving. I try not to think of what could be happening to her right now. I am at a stoplight, impatiently tapping my finger on the steering wheel. "Come on, come on." I mutter under my breath. I look to my right and see the cemetery. Since it is summer, the darkness is slowly setting in, but there is just enough light.
"If I was a fifteen girl who was depressed and lost my family, I would go visit their grave. Right?" I quickly turn into the parking lot. I find the groundskeeper and ask, "do you know where the gravestone of Jim Ross is by any chance?"
He grunts and points to a general direction. It's a pretty small cemetery so I get there fast. I search the rows until I find what I am looking for. When I do, I cry out in relief.
Ross is laying in the grass, asleep, seemingly unharmed except for a small scrape on her hand.
I dial Beckett's number.
As soon as she says hello I start talking.
"I found her! I found her in the cemetery. She's ok." It's only now I realize my voice is breaking at the sight of my beautiful niece. After Beckett finishes speaking I hang up. I sit down next to her, careful not to disturb the grave site.
I accidentally crunch a leaf, and her eyes bolt open as she shoots upright.
"Hey it's ok. It was just me." She turns to face me, as her eyes are red and swollen, yet they are a deep shade of gray underneath.
She relaxes and lays back down in the grass, her voice barely above a whisper. "I'm tired."
"I know. Lets go home."
I take her in my arms. As I turn away from the stone, I feel one arm leave my back, an I know she is waving good-bye to her father.

When I lay her in bed, she is asleep. I clover her with a light blanket.
As I leave, I hear her call out.
"Uncle Ryan?"
"Yeah?"
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to fall asleep. I was going to come back."
"I know. It's ok. Goodnight."
"Goodnight." She replies, pulling the blanket to her chin.
"Goodnight."

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