Castle's partner

Can't

How am I supposed to do this?

I can't tell him something that will make him trust me less.

Maybe I tell Jenny and she tells Ryan?

Maybe if he walks in on me cutting?

I walk out of my bedroom and find Ryan sitting on the couch his head in his hands.

I sit down next to him and rest my head against his back.

"I'm sorry Uncle Ryan. I was being stupid." I whisper.

He looks up. He turns so we are face to face.

"I'm sorry too. I do trust you and I just want what's best for you."

He leans in for a hug, but I stand up.

After this he's not going to want to hug me anymore.

"I have to show you something."

"Ok."

I wander into my bedroom.

"Sit." I point to the bed and he sits.

I turn towards where I hide my box of blades. I pick them up but he can't see because my back is blocking him.

I tap the box with my finger slightly and exhale, coming to terms with what I'm going to do.

I turn back towards Ryan.

"Don't hate me." I say softly. I doubt it will do any good.

I hand him the box and take a step backwards.

He looks at it. "Is this what I think it is?"

I nod to the ground.

He shakes it. "There aren't many in here."

"I know." I don't even know if he can hear me.

He sets the box down next to him.

He stands up, and I shrink myself.

"I love you." He wraps his arms around me.

"I don't understand." I pull away.

"What do you mean?"

"How can you still love me? I broke my promise. Why do you keep forgiving me?"

"Because I love you no matter what. You are hurting and I don't want you to be."

A grim smile breaks onto my face.

"But I do want to see," says Ryan.

"No!" I whine.

"Show me now."

I reluctantly hold out my arm with my sleeve rolled up.

He frowns.

"You have to stop."

"I know. I'm trying."

He takes me in his arms again.

---------------------------------------------------
A week later at the precinct:

My phone has been silent with no word from my stalker for two days. I've gotten a few more threats though in the past week. I can't take my mind off of it though. I haven't been the same. To think someone is always watching me, and threatening the people I love, it's scary.

"Hey Ross!"

"What?"

Espo gets my attention.

"Brandon was transferred to county jail."

I nod.

"I tried to make sure he wasn't separated from the rest of them. Did you know that when a child molester is put in jail the rest of the guys in there would kill them because most of them were molested as kids? Well anyways I tried to make sure he didn't get moved out of there but it didn't happen. Maybe next time though."