Castle's partner

Please

Meeyore01

Espo pov

Her blood is all over my hands.

Her eyes are closed, but her pulse is still going.

I stare at her in shock.

I don't let go until the paramedics pull me off and tell me I need to move.

They pull out the paddles and start tearing away her layers of clothing.

I avert my head like she would have wanted.

"Clear!" The man shouts as he presses the paddles to her body, causing her back to arch.

This one word breaks me.

I said the room was clear, but it wasn't.

And now she's dying. And it's my fault.

They lift her onto a gurney and quickly leave.

I can hear the sirens outside as the ambulance rushes past the building and to the hospital.

I stand here, unmoving.

I stare at the blood stain on the ground where Samantha layed.

I hate myself right now.

My anger swells, and I pick up the tiny glass figurine on the table.

Its light between my fingers, the clear crystal shining rainbows over the floor.

I curl my fingers around it and hurl it at the wall, and it shatters into hundreds of pieces.

I walk over to the wall and pound my fists against it, leaving blood all over the white paint.

"I hate you! I hate you!"

I scream at myself, my hands hurting now.

I don't stop until someone grabs me.

"Stop it Espo!"

The voice screams.

I turn around and Beckett is looking at me with fear in her eyes.

"Where's Samantha? What happened?"

I start sobbing. She pulls me into a hug which I am grateful for.

"What happened?"

"She was shot. She's dying."

She stiffens before pulling away.

"What?! Why aren't we at the hospital? Come on we have to go!"

I shake my head, my feet rooted to my spot as Beckett takes my hand and tries to pull me away.

"Esposito, come on!"

"She won't want to see me."

"What the hell are you talking about?"

"It's my fault. It's my fault."

"Espo unless you shot her it's not your fault."

"I might as well have. I said the room was clear, but it wasn't."

"Espo, I bet she told you it wasn't your fault. She said that didn't she?"

I nod grimly.

"Lets go."

We arrive at the hospital, and Beckett calls everyone and tells them to come ASAP.

Within twenty minutes, Castle, Alexis, Lanie, Martha, Ryan, and Jenny emerge through the doors and sit down in the chairs in the waiting room.

Its silent. Everyone is crying, legs are bouncing impatiently, and fingers are being tapped.

Every time a doctor walks by, we wait with baited breath to see if they say anything.

They don't.

We wait for hours, each of us locked in our own minds and occupied by scary thoughts that were possible only in our nightmares until now.

A doctor in blue scrubs suddenly walks in.

"Is Samantha Ross' family here?"

We all stand up.

He takes a deep breath.

"Her surgery was successful. We were able to remove the bullet and stop the bleeding, but she lost over half of her blood. She's still unconscious, but if she makes it through the night she should live."

Everyone lets out a breath.

There's still hope.

I sit down.

"Samantha's a fighter. She'll make it." Lanie puts her hand on my shoulder.

"She said 'don't make promises you can't keep'. That was one of the last things she said to me."

"She's right. Come on, let's go see her."

I swallow.

"You go. I'll stay here."

"Espo-"

"Please."