Jigsaw

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There's a random girl and her name is Tracy so yeah
Also I'm making Lexy sapphic because why not.

  They are adults in this! They all decided to live together just in case something were to happen. After Lexy switched from multiple jobs, she starts working at Barnes and Noble at 22 years old.

Trigger Warnings- Alcohol, Weed, Mentions of Sex, Self Harm

Inspired off of the movie "Thirteen" & the song "Jigsaw" by Conan Gray

Lexy's pov:

  There's this girl I work with, she's just really pretty, and there's just something about her that I can't describe. She's got a really nice smile, though she doesn't do it often unless she's talking to a customer. But, when she really smiles, she lights up the whole room. She just gives me butterflies that I've never felt before.

  Though, she would never like a girl like me. I wear the most simple outfits and she's so extra. She's so extroverted and sweet, though her face doesn't look like it. And the way her face brightens up when she talks about something she likes. She's never even looked in my direction but I've never looked away from her. I feel like I know everything about her and I've only been working here for a few weeks.

  I analyzed what she wears, she's got a cool style. Dark clothes, piercings, tattoos. Pretty much a movie's badass character, but she's not like that.

  I took notes on my break, she wears thongs a lot, which is only allowed because customers can't see it unless they're looking over the counter. Band tees and Dr Martens, tons of face piercings and baggy jeans. Nice makeup and thrift shop clothes. She truly was beautiful.

  After I clock out, I go on my shopping spree, getting anything I could that reminded me of her. I even bought myself a pair of Dr Martens. I felt like a completely different person trying my new clothes on. After, I go to a salon, I booked an appointment just a few days ago. I cut my hair shorter and dye my roots blue. Her hair is black and red.

  I go home to my favorite people ever. It's been almost nine hours after my shift, they're probably worried since I haven't responded to a single text message. I quickly drive home, I don't want them to report me missing or something stupid.

  My hair is dry by the time I pull into the driveway, I grab all my bags out of car and walk inside, the bags going all up my arms. I spent a fortune. When I get inside, they're both sitting on the couch.

"Where have you been?"
Devon asks, worriedly.

"I went shopping and got my hair done after work."
I respond. I glance at Jake, who's mesmerized by my new hair.

"You could've called us or just messaged us! We were worried!"
He claims. I brush him off and walk to my room.

  For the next however long at work, I've been wearing my new clothes, showing off my thongs and mini skirts. I've gotten compliment from her, and now she's actually talking to me. I've been more patient and started socializing more with my other coworkers, just so she can know me.

  After we've been hanging out after work for weeks, I found out she smokes weed. Usually, I would say no, not anymore but I just can't stop myself when I'm around her.

  It was close to three am when I came home. Drunk or high, maybe both. Somehow, Devon was still awake. Maybe because he was worried, I don't know.

"Lexy, what the fuck."
Jake says, it wasn't even a question.

"What?"
I slur, everything's a blur.

"Where the hell were you?"
Devon asks.

"I was at the bar with my coworkers!"
I respond.

"Seriously, you have to tell us when you're going somewhere, you've been making us scared."
He says.

"What are you my parents?"
I joke.

"No, but we're your best friends and your roommates. We want to make sure you're okay." Jake explains. He pulls my arm and sets me down on the couch. Now he can see my red eyes.

"Lexy, are you high?"
He asks.

I laugh,
"Maybe."

"Lexy, you relapsed?"
Devon says, shocked.

"Calm down, I'm not addicted!"
I slur.

Devon just raised his arms up and walks to the kitchen, soon, he comes back with a cup of water. "Here, drink this."

  Even though I don't want to, Jake and Devon will force me. So, I drink the water. And after, a new wave of emotion comes over me. I set the glass down and I just want to cry. I can barely walk but I stumble off to my room.

  I look in the mirror. I can't see myself. I just see someone else. Lexy Cross wouldn't have blue hair and wear these clothes. Ok, maybe I would wear some of it. But I just do it all for Tracy. And she probably doesn't even like me.

  Even though I'm drunk and high, I'm still pretty mature, so I got to bed. I'll have a massive hangover but luckily I don't work tomorrow.

  The next day, I finally walk out my room, my hair a mess. Jake and Devon are in the kitchen. Surprisingly, not flirting.

"Lexy, we need to talk."
Devon says as he notices me enter the room.

"Yeah?"
I yawn, sitting down next to Jake.

"We're worried about you. You've been acting so differently since you started working at Barnes and Noble."
Jake starts.

"Guys, I'm fine."
I laugh.

"Lexy, you haven't been acting the same. You've been dressing very differently and you got piercings that you would literally never get and you even dye your hair like every other week."
Devon adds.

"It's literally nothing I'm just experimenting with my style, just to see what I like."
I shrug but they won't let go that easily.

"Now, if you can excuse me, I'm going to get a shower."
I say before rushing off.

  I look in the mirror and I still can't find myself. It's like a jigsaw puzzle that's almost impossible to put together. Or those scrambled word things. I'm just not there. I can only see Tracy in me now. But I don't want to be her, I want to be with her.

  She's been acting weird too. Tracy talks to me all differently all of the sudden. Maybe she's using me. Like for the weed and all the alcohol and the sex. Maybe she doesn't want me at all. She doesn't want the real me at all. She just wants me to pretend.

  I did everything to make her happy and still she doesn't fucking want me? She always pointed something out to me. One of my eyes is slightly bigger than the other, my eyeshadow looks a bit different on one eye. Anything she sees wrong about me she points it out, just to belittle me! Why would I even do this to myself? I don't even love myself anymore! 

  I start to cry once I realize what I did to myself. I scrimmage through the cabinets, just hoping to find that damn awful blade. I can only think about one thing to make myself whole again. As I see the blood, I know it's me. Now, I really get in the shower.

  After I get out, I finally decide to tell Jake and Devon about how much I fucked up. Now they're in the living room. My hair is wet and I'm not wearing a bra but I can only hug them and sob in their embraces. They don't need to ask, I tell them everything. I tell him that I'm going to quit my job and go find somewhere else, I just need to get away from Tracy and that stupid book store.

  After that, I really feel like myself again.

I didn't expect the whole thing to be Lexy's pov but I'm glad it way tbh.

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