Drunk Shopping - Colby/Reader/Sam

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I am NOT taking requests on Wattpad, if you want to have a request done, you'll have to go to my Tumblr; LightenUpBrock. This is just so I keep my priorities straight.

Summary; "Hi can we get a solby x reader midnight shopping where colby x reader are drunk and sam is designated driver and keeps having to apologize for their mess/sillyness but can't help to smile bc they're so adorable and he loves them so much. thanks! :)"

Warnings; swearing

Word Count; 1,260 words

Pronouns; Female

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"Fucking—" you start, reaching into the ball rack to grab one and throw it at Colby for spinning you around a ton earlier.

He fell over with you in his arms, because there's no way that he would've let you go even if you said please. So, you slammed your knee against the ground, and he landed on top of you.

Even then, he wouldn't get off of you until Sam had to hoist him up so you could slip out from underneath him.

He also had to clean up most of the stuff that you guys had knocked off the shelves. Thank god it wasn't something like glass, because then that would've been a big oopsie. And then you would feel really bad and have to pay for it.

"(Y/n), babe—" Sam starts, but you've already turned to Colby's retreating figure.

With one powerful throw, the ball hits the back of Colby's head, making him stumble forward. And the ball goes flying towards you again, which Sam catches so it doesn't hit anything and knock that over too.

"Come on—" Sam laughs, and Colby turns to look at you.

There's a dangerous sense in his eyes as he raises his eyebrows at you, "You threw that?"

"Nuh uh," you point at Sam, trying to blame it on him, "He has the ball."

Colby smirks slightly as he starts towards you, "Sam doesn't throw like a little girl."

"Fuck you, Colby," you flip him off, and at the same time, he starts running towards you.

"Maybe I will!" He yells.

A squeal leaves you as you start running to the other end of the aisle. You whip around to the other side pretty quickly. And it's like a scene from a movie when you go to look behind you and he isn't chasing you anymore.

You slam right into Colby, knocking you two over again.

Giggles erupt from you two as you lay there for a second, waiting for Sam to come around and help you guys up again. Since you both know that there's no point, unless he wants you two to fall over.

"Hey, that was a pretty soft landing," you smile at Colby, and he rolls his eyes.

"Because you landed on me," he pushes you off of him, and Sam appears at the other end of the aisle, "Little help here, babe?"

"I don't know," Sam says, leaving the cart off to the side, "Maybe you two deserve it. I'll come back for you guys when I'm done."

"You should put me in the cat," you smile at him, holding up your hand so he'll take it and hoist you up.

"That's a bad idea," Colby says, "Put me in the cart."

"No—you're too big!" you push him away from you when Sam helps you up, steadying you slightly as he then goes to help Colby.

Colby raises his eyebrows at you threateningly, "Calling me fat?"

You mock him for a second, before flexing and talking in a deep voice, "I'm Colby and I think that all I have is muscle mass—"

Sam starts laughing, covering his face for a second as he then grabs the cart, "I'm not laughing—that's not funny."

"Sam," Colby pouts, leaning on Sam for a second, "That's mean."

"She's the one that said it," Sam cocks his head towards you, "Get mad at her."

"I can't get double mad at her, that'll cancel it out... and then I won't be mad..."

Sam snorts slightly, and you giggle slightly. Colby turns to give you a look to tell you to shut up, however he stops when you hold out your hand for him, and he takes it.

Swinging your hands, you two get out of the aisle behind Sam, trying not to cause too much trouble just yet. Especially with a worker standing so close.

"Finding everything okay?" She asks politely, and Sam tells her that you guys are doing fine.


"Actually," Colby says, making Sam stop for a moment and turn to you guys. You detach from Colby because of this, because his Viner mind is going off, you can feel it, "I can't find Nemo—"

"You're such a fucking idiot," you laugh, walking towards Sam.

The lady laughs, and Sam rolls his eyes, "Sorry about them, they've had a little too much to drink tonight."

"It's all good," she laughs, waving at you guys as you start to go away.

Colby whispers to you guys when he believes that you guys are far enough away, "Do you think she knows where Nemo is?"

"Colby—" Sam starts, but Colby trips over something, and he takes you down with him.

Your hands slap against the tile floor, and while you press your head against the ground, Colby starts laughing behind you. Making you a little irritated, but you start laughing soon enough.

"You're such an asshole—" you start, kicking your leg at his groin, it works, "—fucking jerk."

"My balls." Colby groans.

You carefully pick yourself up without Sam's help, and Sam looks a little impressed. However, you two have to stand there and wait for Colby to calm down and stop squirming against the floor.

"I barely kicked you."

"I'm sensitive, Aubrey!" Colby quotes, grabbing Sam's hand.

You push Colby down after that, and he falls against the ground. While you're standing there giggling at him, Sam is shaking his head, trying not to laugh while he goes to help him up again.

Colby is up again, and you two manage to not knock each other over again. However, Colby has some shenanigans up his sleeve, because the second he takes the cart from Sam, he takes off running. Then, he stands on the lower rack of the cart as he goes sailing.

"Oh fuck—" Sam says, running after him, and you watch as Colby slams into the freezer second of the store.

The cart tips over, making a loud crashing sound. You stop in your tracks as you watch Sam apologize to the lady in the aisle, trying to fix the cart and pick Colby up again.

"Can you help us?" Sam asks you, raising his eyebrows.

"Make Colby clean it up," you whine slightly, heading over to them. And by the time you've gotten over there, everything is in the cart anyway. With absolutely zero help from both you and Colby.

"You two are a handful," Sam sighs.

"I'm sorry," you give him puppy eyes, and he pulls you closer, placing a kiss on your lips. And then he wraps an arm around your waist, pulling you up to him, "You love us anyway."

"Where the fuck is my kiss?" Colby says, puckering his lips.

Sam laughs, rolling his eyes as he goes to give him a kiss too. However, you push Colby away, huddling up next to Sam again, "Fuck off, this is our moment."

Colby suddenly comes over faster, picking you up in his arms as he gives Sam a wet kiss. That you're forced to watch in horror.

"Fucking gross," you make a fake gag sound, making them laugh.

Colby shrugs as he dumps you into the cart, making you sit on top of all the groceries that's been grabbed so far. It hurts in some places where there's canned food.

"You're the one that chose to join in. Should've seen what Sam and I were doing before—"

"I don't want to know any of it," you plug your ears and he starts laughing.

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