Hailee Steinfeld Imagines (gxg)

wrong direction (requested)

You chewed on your bottom lip as your finger hovered over the play button of Hailee's new song.

You don't even have to listen to it to know that it's about you. You've read a few of the lyrics and the friends who are still, somehow, remaining by your side after what you did have messaged you and told you how sad it is.

You've dreaded listening to it because she's telling the truth. Her truth. About the pain and heartbreak you put her through with one single, and stupid, mistake.

But you swallowed the lump in your throat and hit the play button.

The somber music started to fill the room. The sound of your ex-girlfriend's voice and the pain you heard in it broke you even more than you already were. The lyrics were a stab to the heart. And you know that must be how she felt the moment she found out you cheated on her.

By the time the song was over tears were streaming rapidly down your cheeks. This was entirely your fault. That heartache she felt was all because of you. There's nothing you can do to change that night and now the world will know the mistake you made to destroy your relationship.

And you know they deserve to.

There was this gnawing and constant tug at your heart to go talk to her. You ignored it as best you could, knowing that she probably never wants anything to do with you anymore. But it just wouldn't go away.

So you put your shoes on and grabbed your keys before getting in your car and heading to her house.

When you arrived and were standing in front of her door with your hand raised to knock, it suddenly all came rushing back.

The memory of that night you've been desperate to forget. The woman who you barely knew but gave more to than the woman you had been so lucky to get to love for almost two years. This was the house you once thought you'd spend forever. It was big enough for the family you once talked about with Hailee.

But those dreams were long gone.

You took a few deep breaths and wiped the tear from your eye before knocking on the door. You were filled with instant regret, wishing you could take it back and run back to your car right about now. But the door opened way too quickly for you to do that.

"What are you doing here?" You could see the anger in her eyes. Even though she said she could never hate you, you could understand why she was so angry at you showing up at her door so unexpectedly. After what you did to her, you deserve a lot more than a look of anger.

"Can we talk?"

"I don't have anything to say to you."

That hurt. But you tried not to let it show. You took a deep breath and looked at her with apologetic eyes. "Please? Just five minutes and I swear I will leave." She sighed but stepped aside without a word to let you in.

You both sat down on the couch and the fabric underneath you brought back the memories you once shared there together.

You looked at Hailee sincerely. She wasn't looking at you and you couldn't blame her. You really thought you could come here and have a mutual conversation, to apologize for the hurt you caused her. But looking at her now the love you feel for her was still there.

"What do you want?" She asked quietly as she finally turned her head to look at you.

"I just wanna talk. I know you probably have nothing to say to you but I heard the song..." She looked away again. "I just... heard the pain in your voice-" "Of course there was pain in my voice, y/n. You cheated on me! You hurt me!"

You nodded your head, not sure what to say or do.

"I loved you." She whispered. You tried to reach out to touch her but she pushed your hand away. "Don't! Do not touch me. You put those hands on someone else." You bit your lip, your heart shattering right in your chest. "I gave you everything and more. What did I do to deserve this?"

You could feel the tears in your eyes and see the tears in hers. You were fighting hard to keep your composure and clearly, she was too.

"I don't know. Hailee, I never meant to cheat on you. I swear I never meant to. I still love you."

She scoffed and your heart sank even deeper in your chest.

"You love me? You can't love me. Not if you could do that to me."

You nodded again. You really didn't know what to do.

"Come on, Hailee. Yell at me. I deserve it. How can you not hate me? I hate myself for what I did to you."

"Because I loved you. Genuinely, y/n. That is why I can't hate you. Because I can't hate the person I used to think about spending my life with. Having a family with. I can't hate you after all the time we shared together."

You went to say something, but she caught you off.

"I honestly don't even wanna hear whatever it is that you have to say. You hurt me more than anyone ever has before. I never imagined you, of all people, could do something like that!" Her voice was growing louder as her urge to keep herself composed faded.

"You cheated with someone you knew for what? Two, three hours? Someone you met in a bar downtown? You have no idea what it feels like. To give someone everything that you have only for them to throw it back in your face and betray you. To give the love you made together to someone else. The two years of good that we spent together can never make up for what you did!"

You felt a tear slip down your cheek. She was yelling at this point. Pacing around the room as tears of sadness and anger fell from her eyes.

"I know and I'll never forgive myself for what I did."

Hailee went silent. The only thing you could hear were the sounds of her sobs and your whimpers.

"You should just go..."

You sat there with an ache in your heart as you've never felt before. You tried to swallow the lump in your throat, but it was too strong and wasn't going anywhere this time around.

"I'm sorry."

She nodded her head as she looked at you with tears in her eyes. "Good."

And with that, you walked out the door feeling even worse than you did when you got there.

You burned her down. You ruined the best relationship you ever had.

And there was no one else to blame but you.