Nirvana (Liu Yuxin x reader)

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The day passed quickly and soon the group were sat around their table for dinner. Y/N leaned on Yuxin's arm and hugged it. 'Boo? Everything okay?' She was in deep thought about her conversation with her cousin and Kun earlier that she didn't realise that she was being spoken to. After not getting a response she moved her arm slightly causing Y/N to flinch and pull away while apologising. 'No, come back. Is everything okay?' Y/N looked at Yuxin's arm which was signalling for her to move closer to her. She shuffled towards her and rested against her again. 'Wanna talk about it?'

'Not yet.' She whispered poking her food with her chopsticks. 'That's okay baby. Whenever you're ready I'm here.' She said pecking the top of her hair and hugging her. Y/N sighed and put her chopsticks down, deciding not to eat anymore. Yuxin noticed and held out her chopsticks for her to eat from but the younger shook her head. 'Baby, you need to eat more food. You barely had anything.' Y/N shook her head. 'I'm not that hungry.'

'I don't care. We have our performance in a few day and you need the strength.' Y/N hid her face in Yuxin's chest. The oldest put her food down and hugged her tightly. Yuxin pulled her up onto her lap while Y/N rested her head against her neck and continued to cuddle her close. They stayed like that until their friends had realised and looked over to them worried shortly after. Keran looked at Yuxin who was sat beside her with a frown. When Yuxin shook her head she thought for a moment. She had been trying to give Y/N space rather than overwhelm her but felt like she wasn't doing a good job of being her friend. 

She sighed before placing her hand on her back causing her to look up confused. 'It's just me don't worry.' Y/N nodded and a small smile appeared on her lips before she retreated to the comfort of Yuxin's embrace. 'Babe you need to eat.' Y/N shook her head. 'Just a little bit more.' She shook her head again and burrowed further. 'Please?' Yuxin whispered before placing a light kiss on her neck. The younger sighed and pulled away. 'Fine.' She mumbled before turning around and reaching out for her chopsticks.

After a few mouthfuls and few forced ones, Y/N snuggled up against Yuxin again. 'Feeling better sleepyhead?' Yuxin asked intertwining their fingers. Y/N nodded and yawned. Just as she was about to ask if they could head up to bed, Keran advised her three dorm mates to go back to their dorm. Just as they were about to leave the hall, a staff member passed on that Kun wanted to see her. 'Again?' Yuxin asked while Y/N nodded and bowed to the staff member. 'I'll tell you about it when we're upstairs. I'll go alone, it's okay you guys go.' 

'Babe are you sure? You look really tired.' Yuxin said holding her face in her hand. 'I'll be okay. If I'm not then you can tell me off. I shouldn't be long.' She smiled up. She walked in the opposite direction to her friends, making her way to Kun's office. She knocked on the door and was given permission to enter. 'Hey, just wanted to see how you were doing. Lisa said you looked out of it in practice.' Y/N gulped and shook her head. 'I'm okay.' She said quietly. 'It's okay for you to think about it. What isn't okay for you to do is stress over it.'

After not getting a response from the girl he sighed. 'Did you speak to Yuxin about it?' She shook her head. 'Why not?' He asked surprised. She stood still for a moment before speaking up, 'I feel like I've let her down.' Kun frowned at her. 'What are you on about?' He said guiding her so she could sit down. 'You haven't let anyone down. You met up with your cousin and someone took a picture. The public have seen it and it's been blown way out of proportion because it's been taken out of context. You haven't done anything wrong.' 

Y/N kept her eyes down. 'Look at me.' She hesitated slightly but lifted her eyes nevertheless. 'Go and talk to her about it. She understands you more than anyone else and I know she'll make you feel better.' Y/N knew that Kun was right and that keeping quiet about it would only make her feel worse. 'Okay.' She said making him smile. 'Good. And make sure you get rest as well.' Y/N nodded and stood up but felt the whole world spin causing her to lose her balance, falling back onto the chair behind her. She could hear a muffled voice, the feeling of herself being moved about while she dipped in and out of consciousness before she completely blacked out.

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I'm sorry I disappeared.

I honestly might drop out of school at this point. It's too much stress and I might be better doing an apprenticeship or going to college. And there's also a lot less people. I don't mix well with other people hahaha.

Hope everyone's well.