LMPYITP: The Random Passages

Death at a Funeral

Author's Note:

            I feel like this one needs an extra trigger warning for just general darkness. I don't know how to describe it without giving too much away and I always feel I should give an extra warning if I think someone might find the content offensive. So, if anything offends you here I'm truly sorry.

            Thank you for reading.

"She's 'ere!" Noel announced as if the rest of us couldn't hear the beeping. "Ee-arr! She's-"

            "We heard ya!" I snapped as I entered the room with Gene trailing behind me.

            We all sat down at the dining room table with me and Gene sitting the closest to Fiona. Liam and Noel didn't hesitate to sit down as long as I thought they would.

            Once we were settled, I dialed the number and Raoul's face appeared on the screen after a couple rings.

            "Hello, Jules!" He greeted me cheerfully.

            "Howdy." I replied flatly.

            "Is everybody here?"

            "Oh, yeah. We got the whole famn damily. Everybody wave at Raoul!" I picked my phone up and showed it around the entire table so Raoul could see I wasn't lying.

            "What's your relationship with the deceased?" Fiona got right down to business.

            "I ain't got one." I shook my head. I looked at Raoul. "Do you wanna tell her or should I?"

            Raoul nodded. "He was a very good friend of mine who unfortunately never got to meet Jules."

            "Pity!" Fiona smirked at me.

            "Very much so." Raoul agreed whether he could sense the sarcasm. "He did get a chance to help me recommend a couple of our books to her that we co-authored. We figured they'd be a great place for her to start in New York since she's an out-of-towner."

            "We ain't got subways where I'm from." I reminded everyone. "Unless ya count the sandwich shop."

            "You'll have to wear an ankle monitor." Fiona told Gene.

            "Fuck off!" He exclaimed.

            "It's either that or stay home...which isn't even an option."

            We finalized our plans then wrapped up our meeting...sort of.

            "You know, I'd love to get back into the catering business." Fiona mused as she packed up her briefcase. "You don't happen to know anyone in the hospitality industry, do you?"

            I rolled my eyes. "You want me to react but I ain't goin' to! I could cuss at you and tell ya what I really think but I'm gonna keep my damn mouth shut."

            Her smirk crept even further up her cheeks. "I know you'd much rather be going on this trip with him than your husband and brother-in-law. He's much more suited, isn't he? For more reasons than one?"

            "Gene adores him." I told her. "You know that just as well as I do."

            "I know you adore him too." She returned.

            I gulped flattening my lips. "I hear they're gonna have you as part of the plotline in the next season of The Crown. I really hope whoever does it fucks it right up. To the point where they keep sayin', 'Don't watch it.'."