LMPYITP: The Random Passages

And You Wonder Why You Can't Get No Sleep

           

"Why the fuck is Noel here?" Liam asked clutching his clothes in his fist.

            "I asked him to come here." I replied.

            "Why the fuck did ya ask him to come here?"

            "I needed him-"

            He tutted and threw his head back. "Ya shouldn't be needin' him!" He exclaimed. "Ya should be needin' me!" He pointed at himself.

            I sighed. "Liam-"

            "No!" He shook his head. "It's not fair, Jules! It's not fuckin' fair! You married me, not him!"

            "Yes. I'm aware of that-"

            "Then why the fuck d'ya always pick him over me?" He asked with sadness filling his eyes. "What's so special about-"

            "I'm not picking him over you!" I defended. "I called him to help me out with you!"

            He furrowed his eyebrows in confusion. "What?"

            I looked at him trying to figure out the right words to say.

            "Right." He said a few seconds later as he pulled on his boxers and pajama pants. "I want tea, yeah? And that kettle's not gonna boil itself." He put on his t-shirt.

            I got out of bed and led the way out of the room.

            Liam tutted when Noel was finally in his field of vision. He followed me to the kitchen while Noel remained on the couch watching TV.

            "Turn that bull shit off!" I ordered as I turned the burner on.

            It was the BBC World News talking about the negative crap I just couldn't be arsed to hear.

            "Or put the local news on." I suggested. "At least then there won't be any bias."

            "Yes there will be!" Liam argued. "Always is. Can't believe none of it."

            "Hmm. Doesn't seem that way on the Cleveland news."

            He scrunched his eyebrows puzzled. "You aren't from Cleveland!"

            "Yeah." I agreed. "But we still get their news. And most of their headlines are about weather and traffic. Like lake effect snow and backups on I-90."

            He shrugged his eyebrows. "Where's me tea?" He asked.

            I went to reply but the newscaster interrupted me.

            "Breaking News..."

            "She said change the channel, knobhead!" Liam barked at Noel.

            "Alright! Jesus!" Noel yelled as he pointed the remote at the screen. "Keep your fuckin' shirt on!"

            "Fuck off!" Liam muttered as he tugged at the collar of his t-shirt.

            It was at that point I noticed his sunburn had turned just little brighter red.

            'Maybe he's gonna tan or something.' I thought.

            "Ee-arr! Look who it is!" Noel exclaimed pointing at the television as we came in to join him.

            His channel surfing landed him on some celebrity news show, featuring some very familiar faces.