LMPYITP: The Random Passages

Chapter 145 - Version 1 Revisited

Author's Note:

Trigger warning.

...

"Wh-, what's happening?" I asked her panicked. My heart felt like it was going to explode. "Blue? What's-"

"Shh!" She tried to calm me down, stroking me in just the right place.

But I had no idea what the fuck was happening. And I was really fucking scared.

I'd been feeling weird all night. Well not all night. Just part of it. After the gig started, my whole body felt really sped up. Recharged.

Just like years ago.

But I didn't have anything. I couldn't touch the gear no more. I promised her I wouldn't. I nearly lost her in Ireland, and she stuck by me during that bull shit trial, and...I couldn't do anything to lose her.

The only thing I had was tequila and fuck knows I can handle that. But what happened?

My mouth felt numb and I kept thinking out loud. I'm always up for sex, me, but I have a filter. I know that will come as a shock to most people but it's true. What happened in our bedroom was ours and no one fucking else's.

There were times when I couldn't keep my hands to myself though. Like when we were out and Jules decided to wear a tight dress. She don't have much of an arse to begin with but when her dress is tight enough...fuck me! I grab on just to make sure it's still there. She rarely says anything but I know she'll thank me for it in the end.

And then of course there's me fantasies. They can come from a lot of different places: our Jules' tight dresses; them push-up bras she wears to bed under her little tank tops. There's way too many to list here and I don't always need her to inspire them. Me own mind does well on its own.

I usually keep my thoughts to myself because I don't want to freak her out. Don't get me wrong, she's pretty open to trying new things. Hell, she's taught me some new stuff in the last however many months it's been. I think she's read up on new ideas if I'm honest.

But that night, I couldn't keep my fuckin' mouth shut. I didn't say too much but I did say a few things I know she weren't thrilled to hear, especially since we were out in public.

And it was her night.

She'd gone to all that trouble to put those gigs together and I didn't want to ruin it. It hurt a little to see her running about with those blokes but I knew I could trust her. She had good reasons for why she included the people she did and it was going really well. I was happy for her.

My mind kept racing with thoughts of all sorts and with the music and her in that dress, my head was spinning. My whole body was on edge. I felt like I could run a bloody marathon.

And then it got really hot. I wanted a fag and that Nico said some kind of shit. I can't remember what it was but it pissed me off. He was well on his way to receiving a leathering...until the pain shot through me.

It was like someone stabbed a knife through my heart. Then there was throbbing and pounding. I couldn't breathe. Couldn't stand. And my eyes started playing tricks on me.

First it was Blue's dress. She went out that night in some other dress but at some point it turned black. She says it didn't but fuck knows I saw black. A tight black dress and I wanted her out of it so we could...Jesus!