LMPYITP: The Random Passages

I Wanna Move but It Just Don't Feel Right

            My phone rang for about the thousandth time. The same number. It was always the same number and never an attempt at hiding it.

"You ain't gonna stop are ya?" I said staring at the caller ID.

They probably would eventually though. They'd have to get tired of it at some point. Surely they were tired of me yet they wouldn't stop fucking calling.

Of course, there was one way to get them to stop.

"Hello?" I spoke reluctantly into the receiver.

"I'm going to cut right to the chase." She spat. "Where are you?"

"I ain't telling you that!"

"Jules, I'm not about to play games with you! Either tell me where you are or I'll-"

"You'll what?" I challenged.

She stammered for a response.

"If you're feeling froggy, Fi', go ahead and leap."

She sighed. "Look, Jules. We have serious matters to discuss. Serious matters that need to be discussed in person and I suggest you appear to discuss them. I have something to send you so I'll need your address-"

"You ain't getting my address!" I snapped. I took a deep breath to calm myself down. "I'll give you a PO box."

She told me the package would be shipped the following day and she'd be tracking to see when it arrived.

On the day it came, she called and instructed me to go to the post office to pick it up.

"Oh, for fuck's sake!" I groaned when I pulled the pink slip out of my PO box informing me the package was too big to fit in it. I took the slip to the desk, gave it to the clerk, and waited while they retrieved it from the back.

The package was a plastic shipping envelope with something soft inside. I could feel it as I squeezed it although I had no idea what it could be.

I went straight home and even though I was tempted to open the package before I left the post office parking lot, I held off. As soon as I arrived at my destination, however, I tore it open and dug out what was inside.

"Oh, for fuck's sake!" I tutted when I saw what it was.

But there was more to it than that. Fiona never could let something be without a catch.

"They sent you anything?" I inquired as the plane cruised through the air.

"No." Raoul replied shaking his head. "Were they supposed to?"

I sighed. "Guess not." I gazed out the window.

"If you're expecting divorce papers, Jules, I'd be the first one to tell you when they've arrived. And Liam knows you don't want anything from him. A 'clean break' is what you call it. He's been through the motions before so I think he knows-"

"I'm sure he does." I cut him off. "Don't most celebrities not even have to show up at their own divorce hearings?"

"Not always but-"

"They'll be sending the papers. They just ain't sent 'em yet."

"Did you ever think maybe Liam doesn't want to divorce you?" He asked. "Maybe it's you who wants to divorce him. Which if that's the case, and we both know how many times you've said you wanted to-"