Scouting Legion High School [ An Attack on Titan Modern High School!AU ]

Erwin's Terrible Driving

"WHAT THE FUCK, ERWIN!" Farlan  shouted.

"What's wrong?" Erwin replied nonchalantly.

"What's wrong?" Farlan ridiculed. "You nearly hit that old lady! And look at her! She's still screaming profanity at you!"

"I can't look, Farlan," Erwin stated. "Distracted driving is never good."

"You're driving like you're drunk!" Farlan replied.

"At least I'm not drunk then," Erwin replied, eyes glued to the road. "That would make things worse wouldn't it?"

Farlan rolled his eyes.

"Speed bump," Erwin called out without slowing down. They ran over the speed bump, causing Farlan to nearly get thrown out of his seat despite him wearing a seatbelt. Of course, there was a second bump that made matters only worse.

"I need to vomit," Farlan groaned.

"Wait until you get home," Erwin stated.

"You know, there's a thing that exists called the brakes," Farlan held on tightly to the seat.

"I know," Erwin said "I use it all the time."

They stopped at a stoplight, but Erwin stepped on the brakes a little too suddenly, making Farlan jerk forward. He groaned. "Dude, how did you get your license?"

"I passed the test," Erwin answered.

"How?" Farlan asked.

"Because I was good enough, duh," Erwin replied.

Farlan was completely baffled. How on earth did this boy get his license if he drove like a duck on crack?

At long last, Farlan got home alive. He quickly scrambled out of the car and ran up to his door.

"Yo Erwin," Levi stated. "I need a ride."

"Well, hop on in," Erwin said as he patted the passenger's seat. Levi groaned as he stepped into the car and buckled up. "Where do you want to go?"

"The grocery store," Levi stated. "The old man is out of milk."

"Isn't the grocery store about a five minute walk from here?" Erwin asked.

"No it has to be the one near the rival high school since that is the only place that sells this kind of milk," Levi stated.

Erwin shrugged and started the car.

"And please, don't run over another squirrel," Levi sighed.

∾◦☼◦∾

"I can't fucking believe you ran over another squirrel," Levi stated.

"It was his fault for just sitting there," Erwin replied.

"You didn't even honk," Levi said.

"Well I didn't want to scare him," Erwin shrugged.

"So you ran him over?" Levi ridiculed. "I didn't think it was even possible to run over a squirrel in the broad daylight until I met- what was that?" Levi asked. They hit another bump in the road. "Was that a pothole?"

"No, that was a bird," Erwin said nonchalantly.

"What?"

"This is a pothole," Erwin stated.

Suddenly, the car shook violently, making Levi thrash around in his seat. Even the seatbelt couldn't save him from Erwin's driving.

Once they reached the grocery store, Erwin waited in the car while Levi went into the store to get the milk he needed. After Levi hopped back into the car, he pulled out a helmet and put it on.

"Are you serious?" Erwin asked.

Levi ignored him and clutched the milk carton to his chest. "Let's go."

Okay, Erwin said. After starting the engine, he looked behind him and put his foot on the gas. However, he forgot to put the car in reverse, therefore driving into the brick wall in front of them.

"You fucking suck ass at driving," Levi sneered.

"Don't distract the driver, Levi," Erwin stated as he successfully backed up the car just to hit a curb behind them. "It's never good."

Levi groaned as he tried to keep his mouth shut for the rest of the ride. Surprisingly, he made it back alive and without running over another object. Erwin parked in front of Levi's house and unlocked the car door for him.

"Just ask me if you need a ride," Erwin called out to Levi once he was on his doorstep.

"I'd rather not," Levi shouted back. He let out a sigh of relief that the ride was over. He was unlocking his front door when he heard a crashing sound from behind him. He turned around to see Erwin had crash into the car in front of him.

"Oops!" He called out, putting the car in reverse.

Immediately, Levi knew disaster was going to strike. "WAIT WAIT WAIT, ERWIN!" He bellowed, but Erwin didn't pay attention.

Erwin stepped on the gas, sending the car suddenly backwards, slamming into an innocent passerby.

"Was that a tree?" Erwin asked.

"Yes a tree decided to unearth itself and walk across the damn road!" Levi spat sarcastically at Erwin before walking up to the person who got hit. His friend was there with him.

"Hey what do you know, it's the kid who keeps getting hurt," Erwin crossed his arms. "I feel bad for forgetting your name... Um Rydell? Rhino?"

Levi face palmed. "It's Reiner. Even I remember it and I hate people. And one of your guesses was a girl name and the other is an animal. What is wrong with you Erwin."

"Annie, I think my ribs are broken," Reiner groaned.

"You'll be fine," Annie stated as she dragged him into his feet.

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AN: I can't drive :D