Scouting Legion High School [ An Attack on Titan Modern High School!AU ]

The Birthday Excuse

"So first we need to dilute the solution with water," Molbit read the instructions. "Then add two grams of this powder, then-" he turned around to Hanji mixing in various chemicals into the flask.

"Hanji!" Molbit began to panic. "This is NOT a good idea!"

"I can do whatever I want," she stated. "It's mah birthday, bitches! Everybody out! Gonna have to scream, gonna have to shout!" Hanji shouted in a sing-song fashion. "I got a dance party in this flask!"

That was when the solution turned green and started to make a greenish vapor that sank to the ground.

"Oh no," Molbit freaked out. "Sinking vapor is never a good thing! What if you accidentally created mustard gas! You killed us all!"

"Don't be silly," Hanji stated. "Mustard gas is yellow. We'll just boil this and hopefully it will denature any toxins this may have," Hanji stated as she put it over the heater. "Hopefully."

"What if it explodes?" Molbit asked.

"It's my birthday," Hanji stated. "It's not going to explode."

"Chemicals explode if it wants to. They don't explode if you say so," Molbit sighed.

"Then I say so!" Hanji stated as she raised her hands into the air. "EXPLODE!"

Molbit squealed and hid behind Hanji, just in case something happened. However, nothing happened at all.

"I honestly don't know what you were expecting," Hanji said nonchalantly to Molbit.

✎➕➖✖➗✐

"Hey Levi!" Hanji called out.

"No," Levi stated.

"Why you always do dis?" Hanji asked.

"No," Levi stated.

"It's mah, birthday," Hanji stated.

"No," Levi uttered.

Hanji stopped for a second. "I can blackmail you."

"No you can't," Levi sneered.

Hanji held up her phone. It was the video of Levi being carried down the halls at the open house while Hanji and Erwin were shouting stupid things about him.

Levi knew what he had to do.

✎➕➖✖➗✐

Levi couldn't believe he was doing this. He paraded through the halls with a noise maker.

"Hear ye, hear ye," he stated apathetically. "The birthday bitch is arriving. Bow down to her."

Hanji then turned the corner in an extravagant red cape with a crown. She waved at all the peasants in the hallway as they clapped and cheered for her.

Levi spent the rest of his day saying the same thing every time they turned into a different hallway. The worst part was that he had to wear a jester's hat. Frankly, he hated anything of multi-color, so then entire package was like walking through hell.

"The King has a declaration!" Hanji stated. "I am tired of this jester. He is to be sent to be beheaded."

"What?" Levi asked.

"OFF WITH HIS HEAD!" Hanji bellowed.

"THE KING DEMANDS BLOOD!" A peasant shouted.

"WE MUST SACRIFICE HIM FOR THE KING!"

"Oh hell no," Levi stated.

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AN: Hanji-saaaaaaannnnn!