Scouting Legion High School [ An Attack on Titan Modern High School!AU ]

Semester Stress

Sasha trudged into school with her sweats and a hoodie on. On normal days, she would at least attempt to appear decent, but not today. She had tests in all classes and projects due by the pound. And as she looked around, she could see that it was the same for others as well.

"Hey Sasha- whoa," Christa said. "You look awful.

"Thanks," Sasha replied casually. "You, too."

Christa, who usually looked like she descended from the heavens each day to school, had her hair up in a sloppy bun. She also did not put any make up on nor did she attempt to dress like she actually has a closet.

"So what exams do you have you do today?" Christa asked.

"I dunno," Sasha slurred. "There's a bunch, but I didn't study."

"Ay. Que pena. Necessito estudiar español porque tengo un examen. Yo quiero morir. Me mates, por favor," Christa said.

Sasha simply stared at the short blond and blinked. "I have never been more confused in my life."

"Hey guys!" Connie said as he walked over to them. He definitely had more enthusiasm than the entire school mixed into one person. "Whoa, you both look dreadful."

"Thanks, Connie," Sasha spat. "It's every girl's dream to hear that."

Connie cleared his throat. "Have either of you ladies ever had the urge to hit your picnic basket, but you can't because whenever you try, you end up breaking your basket."

Sasha and Christa stared at the boy who was a bit too happy for their taste at the moment.

"No," Sasha shook her head. "No human in history had ever encountered that problem."

"Well," Connie continued. "You're in luck!" Then, he pulled out a picnic basket from seemingly out of nowhere.

Christa pointed to the basket in suspicion. "Where did you get that?"

"Get the Whack-it Basket! The basket that can take a beating!" Connie advertised. "It can also actually hold food!"

"Holy cow, what a miracle," Christa said with the least amount of enthusiasm she could muster.

"Yes, it can even fit your really thick and spicy salami you wanted to gobble down on," Connie continued.

"You do know that sounds incredibly wrong, don't you?" Sasha asked.

"I'm a vegetarian," Christa stated.

"Weak!" Sasha criticized her. "You're freaking weak!" This earned a look from Christa that looked like she was going to murder orphans. "Just kidding vegetarians are cool. It's the vegans that are harder to take out to dinner."

Christa gave a "fair enough" nod.

"Fuck you, Nicolas Cage!" They heard a voice shout from down the hallway. The friends ignored the noise and returned to their conversation which was ending.

"Well, gotta bounce!" Connie said as he marched off with his stupid basket.

"Why?" Christa asked as she gestured to the boy sprinting down the hallway.

"I am 100% sure he was dropped on his head as a child," Sasha said.

"Screw you, motherfucker!" A shout was heard down the hall followed by a scream of student agony.

As Christa and Sasha turned to the source, they saw an angrier than usual Annie who didn't even bother to put her hair up (or brush it for the matter).

"I just shoved Eren into a trash can," Annie announced aggressively. When no one replied, she continued in the same loud, angry, tone. "I'm very on edge today," she stated as she punched an unsuspecting passerby. The passerby, who happened to be Jean, fell to the floor as he curled into a ball of pain.

"Same, but obviously not as much as you," Sasha replied. Normally, she would have been terrified, but she hardly had the strength to care.

"If you shoved Eren in a trash can, is Mikasa after you?" Christa asked.

"No," Annie said. "Mikasa wanted me to because Eren was being stupid."

"What did he say?" Sasha asked.

"He said 'periods can't be that bad,'" Annie said. "Apparently he says that stuff a lot."

"Hold the phone!" Christa shouted as she dramatically looked down and held out her hand. "Hold it! Hooooolllddddd it!"

There was a silence as the other girls looked at each other, then glanced over at Christa who was still looking down with her hand out. The only other noise they heard were the conversations around them and someone down the hallway shouting "Dammit, Nicolas Cage!"

"Are you holding the phone?" She asked.

"It is being held," Sasha replied.

"Where's the trash can you threw him in?" Christa asked.

Annie pointed in the direction she just came from. "Down the hall."

Christa rolled up her sleeves. "You better hold the phone a bit longer 'cause I'm about to smack a bitch upside the head."

"Good luck on your exams," Sasha said as Christa walked away.

"I'm still in immense pain!" Jean said as he continued to clutch his wound.

"The number of fucks I give is nonexistent like your girlfriend and social life!" Annie bellowed at the writhing body on the ground.

"I have to go to my next class," Annie said. "I'll see you around.

"Oh, and Annie," Sasha called out. "Avoid Connie because he will show you a basket and make a dick joke."

"How unfortunate," Annie stated monotonously. "I'm not in the mood for dicks or a joke."

"Hello, ladies," Reiner said as he walked up to him.

"Oh, look," Annie said with even less enthusiasm. "It's both."

"Have you guys seen a trail of sweat?" Reiner asked.

"I don't know where Bert is," Annie said.

"A trail of sweat?" Sasha clarified, slightly grossed out by the statement.

"Yeah, whenever Bertolt gets nervous, he sweats about ten times more than usual," Reiner explained.

"I hate you," Annie said to Reiner.

"What-"

"I hope you die," she stated before walking away.

"I didn't even say anything to her," Reiner said. "But hey, that's the Annie we know and love."

"How come you aren't stressed about the end of the semester?" Sasha asked.

"Because I'm winging life and I don't care where I end up in it," Reiner replied bluntly.

"Good for you, I guess," Sasha uttered.

"Well, gotta find Bert," Reiner said.

"I think he's crying while studying in the janitor's closet," Sasha said.

Reiner groaned as he began to walk away. "Again?"

Suddenly, a strange event occurred. One student was running down the hallway while pushing another student in one of the rolly chairs. The one on the chair had a Nicolas Cage mask on while the student pushing the chair was none other than the notorious Hanji Zoe.

Sasha felt as if Hanji was involved in this, it shouldn't be a surprise. Sasha tried to make out who the person on the wheeled chair was. She noticed that whoever was Nicolas Cage was blond and tall. She immediately recognized him as Erwin Smith when he spoke.

"RICK ASTLY IS STILL ALIVE!" Erwin announced. "LONG LIVE THE RICKROLL!"

Then someone from the crowd, who sounded like Levi, shouted. "ASTLY IS 49. FUCK YOU, CAGE!"

Now, the Nicolas Cage part was explained. It didn't make sense, but it was explained.

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AN: Guess who just finished her semester? *point to self* this girrrrlllllll

Let's all survive the next semester together. And then summer, here we come.