Opening the House

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"The fuck is this? I have no friends." Eren said rather annoyingly as he scrutinized his schedule.

"What else is new?" Jean uttered.

"Don't be a smartass, Jean," Eren sneered. "I meant I don't have any friends in my classes."

"That's probably an exaggeration," Mikasa stated. "You should see my schedule."

"Well that's because you're taking all college leveled classes and stuff," Eren said.

"Not as much as Armin," Mikasa pointed to the blond. "He can practically graduate this year."

"Now that," Armin butted in. "Is an exaggeration."

"No it's not," Jean stated.

"Hey look! People!" Connie exclaimed as he marched up to them with Sasha alongside him. "What's up?"

"Nothing much," Jean stated. "Just reliving traumatizing flashbacks while they opened the house to us at this open house..."

Connie was silent for a moment before responding, "Is he high?"

"Come on, we all know Jean," Marco walked up to them with a big smile which immediately transformed into a straight face. "The answer is yes. Very high."

"Hey!"

"Anyways!" Connie exclaimed. "I'm off to see the new study hall teacher. Apparently everyone gets him and I heard he was a nightmare."

"Nightmares are fun," Armin said quietly. "They scare you into character development."

"Okay, I'm beginning to think everyone here is on something," Connie replied.

Eren managed to suppress a small chuckle which Armin heard. "Ho, don't do it," Armin threatened.

"Everyone's on mY DICK," Eren exclaimed.

"Wow, how did I not see that coming," Marco said in complete awe.

To this, Eren snickered again.

"BOI," Armin raised his arm to slap Eren. "Imma bout to beat you."

"Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight!" Sasha and Connie chanted at the same time.

"Fight! Fight! Fight!" Hanji chimed in. To this, everyone grew silent and stared at her while she continued chanting with a large smile. She then suddenly stopped and stared at all of them. "No? Okay. Hey wait a minute!" She then leaned casually on Jean's shoulder, making him very uncomfortable.

"So how is the guys who caught his Gluteus Maximus on fire?" Hanji inquired.

"Oh, he's okay," Eren said. "Just you know... Not okay."

"As usual," Sasha added.

∾◦meanwhile on the opposite end of the school◦

"REINER!" Annie called out. "YOU ARE STUPID!"

"WOULD A STUPID PERSON DO THIS?" Reiner asked as he ran down the hall with a butt scooter, dressed like a cardboard knight with a cardboard jousting stick. He let out a screech as he jumped onto the butt scooter, scooting down the hall at maximum velocity.

He also scooted into the stairwell and tumbled down at an astonishing speed.

"Bertolt," Annie said. "Why is he so useless?"

"I don't know," Bertolt answered.

∾◦back to the other end of the school◦

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