ANTI - Oscar Diaz

42

I glanced at her one more time to see if she was still there.

I was surprised when i got her text but i wasted no time in picking her up.

I gripped the wheel hard. I wanted to say something but i didn't want to break the comfortable silence between the two of us.

She sat there leaning on the door humming to the radio. She looked to be in deep thought. 

She had no make-up on
Her hair was in a messy bun and she wore sweats and a tube top.

She was going to get cold. But this was when she was the most beautiful. 

It didn't take long till we parked at our destination..

"Knew you'd take me here." She smiled getting out of the car and i did the same.

The soft sounds of the waves crashing were heard.

This was our favourite place. The place where we used to sneak out to at night just to talk.

Secrets were spilled as we both laid in the sand staring up at the night sky on numerous nights.

If she wanted to talk this was going to be the perfect place.

"Remember the last time we came here?"  She asked staring off into the darkness leaning on the hood.

"I gave you that cross pendant didn't I?"  I remembered that day perfectly and i wanted to know if she did too.

I wanted to propose to her right there and then but we were too young, so i settled for the next best thing a Santo cross pendant.

A promise to her that no matter what she'll always have my heart.
It was also a promise to myself, that whenever i see her wearing it i would be reminded that on her 18th birthday i was going to propose. 

I wasn't certain about alot of things, but one thing i was dead set on doing is have her as my wife. I knew i wanted to marry her the first day i met her.

Big beautiful eyes, cute smile cute ass voice.

She had me since day one. 
She still has me now.
Despite everything

"Of course. We drove here, watched the sunset. You gave me the necklace and then we made love somewhere out there." She pointed.

"It was actually there." I pointed between the Streetlight and a shack.

I remember that day perfectly. I remembered every single moment spent with her.

She turned to me smiling.
"Yeah... i couldn't count how many times you said I love you."

"I wanted you to know. To never forget that i do"  I stared at her

"You know, you are one of the most ruthless dangerous person i know. But everything you do is done out of love,loyalty to protect the people you care so much about. Well the very few people you care about." I watched her as she spoke.

She was right. 
Alot of people didn't agree with some of the things i do
I've even done things that i regret doing.

The reason i was in the gang was to protect Cesar. I knew that when the time came he would have to be jumped in. Regardless of whether or not i agreed with it.
But i had a plan, i was going to stay in the gang until I knew it was safe for the both of us to get out.

If i left he would've followed.
And now, when i leave he will leave with me.

"I love you Robyn. Because even when everyone's against me. You always have my back. You were always there for me. No matter how many fucked up things I've done" I held her gaze.

"-Remember that night at the Drag Race, i pissed a guy off, and he came for you. I killed him. You sat next to me comforting me even though you were the one that got hurt because of me."

"That's because I love you. When i love someone I'll do absolutely anything for that person. And Oscar, the day i actually decided to be your girlfriend was the day i accepted you for you all the good and the bad shit. True you're a fuck up but you're mine."

I smiled warmly.

She wasn't talking in past tense.
She said she loves me.
I was her fuck up.

I really didn't deserve this woman.
Because even after everything, she still loves me.

I wrapped my arms around her pulling her closer. She laid her head on my shoulders.

"Emily is the half sister of the Prophets that jumped me." She blurted out and i sat up straighter.

I looked down at her but she kept her gaze forward.

"What?"

"Yeah, and I killed them. I killed her brothers." She whispered.

She didn't sound sad or angry about it.
Her voice was expressionless

I still couldn't even wrap my head around the idea of her killing someone.

Why did she do it?

I get it she was hurt but killing them for jumping her sounded somewhat extreme. But then i realised I've done way worse for way less.

So i shouldn't even be judging her.

"Are you trying to tell me something?" I asked.

Was she?
Did she think this was Emily's way of getting to her by sleeping with me? Having my kid.

In all honesty i don't remember that night.

"I don't know. Benji started telling me these things and then the girls  started telling me these things i don't know what to think." She looked over at me.

I frowned

"Do you want to talk about it?"  I questioned

"Do you think Chico would do anything to intentionally hurt me?  Us?  You?"  She looked up.

I bit the insides of my cheek.

Ask me this question months ago and i would've said no. He would never.

But with everything that has happened and everything that i now know. It was normal for me to start questioning loyalties

"I don't know how to answer that... it's complicated now." I didn't want to say anything I'll regret if it turns out Chico had nothing to do with any of this.

"The day i got jumped you told me that you had two men watching me.. where are they now?" She asked.

My shoulders fell.

"I don't know. I've asked around. Had a few of my men searching for them but they've gone off the maps."

"Can you give me their names?  I think they might've been the ones behind the shooting. We have a lot of shit to figure out. I'm starting to lose my patience."

I frowned as she spoke.

She sounded stress, i knew she must've had other things to worry about like school. She didn't need to worry about all of this.

I wanted to take her worries away.