ANTI - Oscar Diaz

123

I was finally out of the hospital but the rage inside of me didn't dial that from Cuchillos's words. Audacity is what that woman had coming into the hospital asking to be left alone and then threatening not only my mother but my daughter. I was a mother now, she was right about the motherly instincts I had and I don't fucks with what's mine.

"She won't hurt us you know." I looked at my mother who has been by my side. I sighed and nodded

"She won't hurt you because she won't get the chance to. I'll kill her before she gets near you." I looked at Naomi who was now 1 week old and an absolute joy to be around with. She was a ball of happiness and wherever she was you could just feel the joy.

I heard the door bell ring so I walked over and opened it to see Maria. My shock was masked with a smile.

"Hi."

"Hi.." she awkwardly pulled me into a hug which I returned. I was a bit confused as to why she was here but it's been so long and I didn't mind it.

"Please come in..." I stepped aside letting her walk into the house.

"Drink?" I asked leading her to the family room.

"No it's fine. Just ate before I drove over." I looked at her attire and she either just came from work or she was heading there.

"So what brings you here?"

"Where's Naomi? How is she?" I brushed her avoiding my question and answered
"She's with my mum now. She's good. Growing up a bit too fast for my liking but it is what it is isn't it."

She was always my favourite topic.

"Look, I know the last time I saw you..it was a bit weird wasn't it?" I slowly nodded. I couldn't forget her behaviour at the hospital and I knew it had something to do with my daughter's name.

"Look.... when I first saw your name and case file, I personally requested to take it. No that's a lie. When I saw.... who the father was I personally insisted on taking it. I-I just..." I frowned waiting for her to continue.

"Look.... I was born in Freeridge and I spent a good part of my life here. I know of everything,and I haven't actually had the nicest journey here. I was dealing with my own demons and I turned to...drugs to fix myself which wasn't the best way to handle things especially having had a son-." I shook my head not wanting her to continue.

"Stop." I knew where this was heading and I didn't want it to go there. This couldn't be the woman who gave birth to the man I love.

"If you're gonna sit here and say that you're Oscar's mother I don't want to hear it." She looked hurt by my words but I didn't know how to process this. I shouldn't be the one she tells this to.

"Look, I-I just want to talk someone about it. Being your midwife. Being with you throughout this journey. Being able to see my sons after so long and being there and helping you give birth to my first granddaughter has been one of the most happiest moment of my life. And trust me I-I wanted to tell you guys but I didn't know how to. I don't know how to look at him and tell him that." She started crying and I pursed my lips.

I don't want her to continue.

"To see him all grown up after I left to see him
Being a father and a husband, two things that I never thought I'd get to see...it made me so happy. And then seeing Cesar.."

"He had to be both a father and a brother to a kid while he was a kid. You left them when they needed you the most. Why?"  I questioned. Ray went to prison and she just left them. Two kids in a house by themselves.

"I know how it looks. I-I needed to work on myself. And it took 3 long years to do so."

My eyes narrowed at this woman infront of me. The respect I had for her flying out the window.

"It took you three years to get your shit together and it's just now that you want to what? Come back into their lives? Why couldn't you do this years ago. Instead you left them alone. They're both grown now, Cesar is grown. What the fuck do you expect to do now? They've been fine without you and they learned to not need you."

"Look Robyn... It's just,things were hard for me okay. It was so complicated back then." Her excuse was bullshit and I wasn't going to have any of it.

"Complicated how? Couldn't you give them a phone call. Reach out to them earlier instead you carried on with your life while they grew a resentment towards you. They wouldn't admit it but they've thought about you every fucking day. With no clue whether you actually died or something. Don't you think it would've made them happy to know that you were alive and well?" I could feel the anger rising.

"You abandoned them that's it. And I won't let you come into my boys life after being away for so long just because you finally decide to be a mother."

"It's not like that okay." She spoke again but I wish she would just shut the fuck up.

"Oh is it not? Ray got locked up right after you left. Oscar had to resume both roles. Do you know how many shit they've been through. How many times you could've been there for them. They've went through a lot of shit Maria..Or should I fucking say Rosa? And while they were struggling out here in Freeridge, you've built your own little family. While you were in a happy home after getting your shit together. Oscar was a gang leader dealing with all of that shit and providing for Cesar."

"And nothing you can do or say can make this better. Now please get the fuck out of my house."

"Listen you don't understand okay. I'm here now. I want to make things right. Please help me." I looked away from her almost feeling sorry for her. Keyword being almost.

"You know why I won't help you. It's because if I wasn't pregnant,and you didn't stumble upon my files, just like it took you more than 12 fucking years you wouldn't even be here. You would've went on with your life and not given the sons you abandoned a second thought. And that's what I'm not okay with. Now leave." I lowered my voice and spoke calmly.

That was my problem. Just like she could live her life all these years she would've done it again if she didn't see Oscar's name in my files. She was only doing this because now she felt guilty.

I didn't need her to suddenly want to be a mother just because. They've done well without her and they can live without her now.

But I knew it wasn't my choice to make. She wasn't my mother. I just needed to figure out a way to tell Oscar.