The Unpopular Wallflower

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Note: 'Wallflower' means remains on or has been forced to the sidelines of any activity or a party. A person who because of shyness, unpopularity or lack of a partner.

Your POV

I have awfully bad experiences at school. I'm not like the others either and I'm not that kind of type I used to be. I am the unpopular one among the others in which I can't even compete to them. It's impossible for me to handle.

I was targetted by bullying such as many big kids who tried to hit me with dodgeballs, pull pranks on me, stab me behind my back, insult me on social media...etc. I'm the black sheep who gets to join the white ones, unable to be a part of the group.

Am I the one who blame on anybody else? This is sheer torture and I can't take it any longer. I just don't know what to do. I kept messing things up. I literally hate my life 24/7 because I get stressed so much. It gives me a painful headache for weeks.

I tried to join their group but they won't let me in despite the fact that I'm not popular enough. It really sucks to be the unwanted loser of the entire class. I always get picked on, ended up in total complete misery, feeling unappreciated or anything in common.

Everytime I walked to school, I just let my head down in despair. Wear a dark black hoodie and a sad mask with a touch of blue tears, like the deep and shallow oceans. It symbolizes as the struggles in life and all the expectations I've encountered.

I have all the scars everywhere that almost torn my skin apart because of the bullying back there. I couldn't stand myself any longer because of the awful pain. It hurts a lot and my mind began to show some of these images that went gone terribly wrong.

I'm the only one who's get left behind and nobody likes me. I let everything down and I failed badly. When I'm injured, I prayed and prayed day and night hoping the pain will go away. If only my angel were here to see me how I've been throughout the whole week.

I bet if it's a boy. Blonde hair the color of the sunshine, deep blue eyes filled with desire. Give me lots of sugar kisses here and there, want to hear his sexy laughter I admired, feeling the warmth of his strong body...his noticeable scars just like mine.

Imagine his wings are the feathers of a white swan (the one from 'The Ugly Duckling' in a storybook). So purely beautiful and as white as snow that shimmered in the sunlight and soothes my soul....I wish I could sleep on a soft bed with him. I'm in heaven...

What if he was on a white horse? A knight in shining armor awaits for my rescue when I'm in grave danger from suffering. I bet he was a prince who can give me a sign as a miracle so that I'll never be alone anymore.

If he was real, I'll be happy when I'm around him. That's my escape from this horrible world...I wonder what's it really like out there...if God is above, what if a bridge to another world that mysteriously interconnected to mine? That sounds a wee bit strange.

If that's the answer, then I'll have to see it for myself no matter what happens. I'll always be safe from temptation. I hope my dream will come true just this once. But without it, I'll never know. I guess it will take some time for me to get away from the insults back there.

When I try to think about it, the more I feel so lonely. Pouring my broken heart in such sorrows, misery and forgotten. I'm just scared of being scolded, teased and tortured. All these flashbacks and memories have turned to nightmares, giving me a trauma that haunts my soul everytime I went to sleep at night.

Like the light was out, slowly fading in the darkness. Nowhere to be seen again and I can't find my way, trapped in some kind of purgatory. The last insult from school is a reminder that I'll never forget which causes my blood boil so badly, heated in extreme anger.

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