ENTWINED BY FAITH SEASON 1 & 2

18.

Hye... peeps.

How are you guys keeping up?

Sorry for disappearing for such a long time but as I told you in previous part that my phone is troubling me, so I had to sent it to service center and it hasn't returned buy now, still I am posting this chapter somehow I hope you guys like it and support it. PLease do comment and vote....

18.

Life is like a terribly long story gone wrong at some point which we end up carrying till the end of world just to realise, it was one piece of life and we have let it destroy our entire world just because we couldn't get over it. For Sukanya life was one such puzzle but will she let just any moment decide her entire life or is she brave enough to look the world in it's eyes and say 'try me'.
Her eyes open to dawn of the day she rubs the tiredness of previous day off her eyes, her body writhes in pain, an unexplainable pain. She didn't get hurt anywhere except from her forehead but the exhaustion and her mentally drained mind augment to this excruciating pain in her body. Somehow she manages to pull herself up with all her strength, sighing in despair. As her mind gets little less clouded the events from previous day and day before and yet a day before that too set in. There was no purpose left in cursing her fate or anybody else for her situation anymore because deep inside her heart she knew really well that more than anyone else she has lead herself to this situation. Only if she could go back in time and change anything she would do that with all her heart but the question remains when did this all start, a few weeks back when all these murders began or a year and a half back when she met Parinaaz for the first time which lead the loop to her depression to re-surface or a year back when she lost her grandfather and for the first time she knew there is no pain greater than the loss of a loved one to death or five years back when Daksh kidnapped her or to the time when she was bullied for not having a father and decided to stand like a wall and protect her mum or twenty years back when she was separated from her father and brother and the rest of the family or even before that when her mother and father met; like always there was no way to know what lead to what and made her this person she is today. A person who can happily fight the world but can't even look herself in the eyes or tell her loved ones how she actually feels. A person who just to appear strong has lost complete touch with her own self. She knows that she isn't the same girl she was back then but what she is unable to know is 'back when?'. Life has become a loop for her or rather a loophole in which she is stuck and every way to get out of this loop has been closed and not by anyone but her.
Her eyes look around the gloomy room only to land on her brother's face who is sleeping in sitting position lying on the couch hugging a pillow close to his chest and she knew he has been there the entire night and as much as the thought warms her heart it even tears it apart. A single question runs through her mind and that is 'What did she do to deserve him?', especially after all that she has put him and their family through. Her eyes welled up seeing her brother, the tears she had been controlling for years fall like a stream today. What starts as a sob soon turns into an hysteria. She covers her mouth to control her voice but fails miserably as Atharv wakes up to her crying completely set off guard.
He patiently approaches her and placing his hand on her shoulder he asks gently, "What happened, Doll?" Contrarily to his expectation she gives out a loud cry instead of an answer and pushes his hand away.
Today as if years of weighing down and controlling of emotions had broken the barriers she had so effort fully created and the emotions flowed like river from her eyes as cries rose and her heart sank. The very moment of brainstorm had caused fear, illusions, depression, longevity, darkness, aloofness, sadness and pain to fall freely. For once after years Sukanya had let the mask go, the mask she was carrying all along. The mask that had weighed her down for forever now. It wasn't just a cry for help, it was a cry that came after. Her entire body was trembling in the effect of her tears and with the fear they represented. Their was no thought in her mind it was too exhausted to interpret anything at this point. She lost the focus of her breathing and started hyperventilating.
The sight in front of Atharv scared him out of his mind. His sister was going into hysteria and panic attack. He wanted to console her, hold her but she won't even let him near her and he knew it wasn't her fault right now she isn't in a state of mind where she can contemplate the things around her and that was his biggest fear because if she didn't come out of this state she might as well cause some real harm to herself. Fear seeped into his veins. His eyes started to tear up seeing Sukanya cry out loud, his stomach twitched into knots of worry, there was no way this could be happening. His first instinct could have been denial but that got gushed with Sukanya's tears. His mind had no idea what to do and how to do it.
But today he wasn't the only one looking at her, besides him someone else was in utter state of shock too. The two people who stood by the door looked at the room in pure disbelief, their mind not functioning seeing their beloved daughter crying. They came to room to talk, to resolve prior conflicts seeing her in this condition was entirely different. Sukanya's tears shattered them, their hearts cried seeing her weep in pain.
Being unable to take this Shivaay rushed inside and took Sukanya in his embrace but instead she pushed him away. "Stay away. I don't want to talk to you." 
"Suk baccha what's wrong. Please tell me, what happened."Sukanya wails in pains. Her heart wrenching at the thought of the people she lost in the previous year.
"Suk... please look at me. Talk to me. Tell me what is the problem, I promise you I will help you."
"No, you won't. You asked me to leave. How can you? Just go.... please go...." She said in between her violent breakdown.
"No... I am sorry I shouldn't have said that. Please forgive me. I am sorry. I won't say that ever again...."
Sukanya cuts Shivaay's words, "You will. You did it before. I am not going to talk to you."
"Shhhhh.... pls stop crying Suk."
"No... I won't and you don't care. Go. Everyone just wants to leave me even you. Go, I won't stop you. Go... all of you go... Earlier also you weren't with me and I was fine I can take care of myself. I don't want anyone. Go... go..." She pushes Shivaay's shoulder away.
"Sukanya stop it." Anika says hurt by her words but Shivaay asks her to wait instead by showing her his hand to stop. "Anika.... plssssss..."
"Suk... Doll... I am sorry. I won't say anything of that sort ever again. Please baccha stop crying."
Sukanya covers her mouth unable to control her sobs which just keep flowing, Shivaay again moves forward and holds her in his embrace she struggles to get out of his hold or at least push her away but the exhaustion had hit her hard, her body couldn't keep up with her intentions so she lets Shivaay hold her in his embrace tightly and drops her idea to struggle any further but her eyes kept getting heavy with so many emotions that tears didn't stop. After a few minutes she hugged Shivaay back and whatever was in her heart came spilling out for the very first time.
"Everybody is blaming me for killing Parinaaz, Shubhangi and Raghbir, they think I don't care but papa they were my friends, I for sure had broken my friendship with them but still they were part of my life once I am not so heartless. I loved Parinaaz, she was my best friend not even in my worst dream I could have wished for her to go through this fate I swear dad. I swear. First dadu, then Parinaaz, Shubhangi and Raghbir I honestly can't bear it. I am not so heartless, dad. I am not and above that you asked me to leave. How? How do you expect me to do that. Papa all this is too painful please make it stop. I know you all also think that I have done those murders that's why you didn't want me here....."
"Noooo.... Not at all."
Coming out of Shivaay's embrace she folds her hands in front of him, "Papa I don't have any proof but I swear I didn't do it. I can't do it."
"I know..."
"Papa... I didn't kill anyone. I swear." She says swearing, just wanting someone to believe her for once, someone to tell her that they know she can never do such a heinous act because all the allegations were getting to her head somewhere or other she started questioning her own self. Don't they say if you shout out a lie aloud, you can make people believe that it is the truth similar is her condition. What if these murders happened because of her? And that single what if, brought her self-esteem to ground.
"Shhhh.... you don't have to swear or explain I know you didn't do it. I know you doll. You are my doll, you will never do anything like that. I know you have made some mistakes and met a few wrong people but that's all. You don't have to prove anything to me. Please stop crying. Please...."
"You trust me."
Shivaay nods his head cupping her face.
"You won't ask me to leave."
Shivaay again nods controlling his own tears this time.
"You won't leave me."
"I will never leave you. Never ever again. I promise you that. Come here." Saying that he pulls her in his embrace and nodding her head trying to believe every word of his, she hugs him back.
"Papa I am sorry because of me all this is happening."
"No it's not." Shivaay says rubbing off her tears.
"I didn't want to worry you guys with my problems that's why I never told you about what happened between them and me. I never knew that this would happen. I didn't talk and I was very sad but I never wanted her to die, not even in my wildest dreams. However, she was, whatever she did; I know it was all wrong but I was at fault too. I never realised her intentions. I am a fool. But she didn't deserve to die. She didn't. You know on 14th February last year when I was at home, she too was. On that day she had sent Samira and me a message, as soon as I read that message I realised something is wrong. My heart sunk. I could feel something wrong. For a moment I felt... I felt like something really bad is happening. My gut feeling was so strong. I called her but she didn't pick her call, I was so scared at that moment I didn't know what had happened, I called Samira she told me she too got a message but she didn't think anything is wrong. I literally begged her to call Parinaaz as she wasn't picking up my call. She did but again Parinaaz didn't pick up her call. I called her agin and she finally picked up her call. She told me everything is alright but.... I don't know my heart didn't feel the same way though, she told me she will call me later as she is outside right now. I agreed and the call hung up. Samira told me that I was worrying uselessly, I too thought maybe I was. Later that day when she called again she told me she had met with an accident and can't come to university for few days. I asked her what happened, so she said she met with an accident while driving activa. We all believed her. When we went to her house every time when she wasn't fine, to ask about her or to make her feel better or teach her what happened in university she always talked normally and when her mom once had to redo her bandages she said that she doesn't want to show her scars to anyone, I thought it was kinda a normal and I told her there was nothing to worry about her scars are just nothing they do not explain her. Little did I know back then they weren't just scars. A month later when she returned to university she had talked to Samira for a long time they had gone around the university for long hours. I had no idea what they had talked about. A few days later she wanted to talk to me and on that day she told me that she had tried to commit suicide on 14th. She even told me that she took blade and cut her skin innumerous times after writing that message she had sent to Samira and me and only after receiving my call did she get back to her senses and realised what she had done. My heart literally felt it, like I don't know what. That day she even told me how she has been lying to me throughout the year and how she liked Raghbir and everything she told me was a big fat lie. I took that too. I took her betrayal and I didn't say a thing. She told me stuff about Raghbir too. She told me how she feels betrayed and whatever happened between them was wrong. He should have never touched her in wrong way. She blabbered about so many things and you know that day I realised what a huge fool I was. How could I have not seen so many things, so many signs. How? Just How?" She roughly breathed in as the memories re-surfaced from her past like it was just yesterday when they were talking while walking around the university.
She looked around at her family contemplating their reactions but being unable to. "I literally have felt her dying before, I couldn't breath. Now I.... I don't know. I had told her so much, so many secrets, so many feelings of mine and all the while she didn't care. I don't know what wrong I had done but I really don't know how to not be at that place anymore. They day I saw her dead body all those images of her with her arm cut and blood oozing out came in my mind. Everything... I was frozen. It hurts. It hurts a lot. I don't say it but I feel the pain too. I do mourn all of their death. Their memories haunt me. I pray everyday... I pray too dadu to take care of all of them as if they were me." Sukanya bursts with tears as the words, the very raw intentions of her come out.
Sukanya's head drops in Shivaay's lap and his hand creases her back his eyes could no longer hold onto her tears. She couldn't get over her dadu's death till now and her friends too are gone. No matter how they were, they were part of her life. Part of all those sweet and sour memories they had made over the short time they had spent together. No matter how big a betrayal is, few people truly can see over it and move on without any intention of revenge. Some people don't even care if karma avenges the wrong doers for them or not all they really care about is what life holds ahead of those situations and Sukanya was one of those very few people, maybe she wasn't like that always but life changed her and shaped her into a better person.
"I am sorry baccha..."
Sukanya nods her in disagreement knowing that it's not his fault. "It's not your fault. I should have told you all this earlier but I didn't want to worry you guys. You all have been through so much trouble already and after dadu died, it was so difficult for everyone."
"It's okay, Suk. It's alright, baccha. I understand."
"Will you be able to forgive me. I didn't exactly make you proud all I do is just to add on to your problems. I wish I was better..."
"Hye... no. Kiddo that's not true. I am so proud of you. I am so proud of both Atharv and you and you guys have never created any problem for us. You guys are our pride. We can never be disappointed in you both. So never say that or even think about that. As far as these problems are concerned they are part and parcel of life, together we can always face them and they will be gone just like a nightmare. And there are so many things that even we do wrong. Stop doubting yourself and I promise you that nobody will be able to harm you. No one at all. You are my bravest, sweetest, most beautiful child and you can not loose. Not today. Not ever. You hear me." Sukanya nods trying to be positive. "My brave girl." Shivaay kisses her forehead while hugging her. Sukanya looks at her mother who was equally devastated seeing her condition, she raises her hand and Anika holds it but the mother in her wasn't satisfied so she moved forward and hugged Sukanya while Shivaay moved back.
"I am sorry mumma."
"What sorry....haan...." Anika slaps Sukanya's arm, "You fought with your papa and didn't even talk to me once. What did I even do? Hmmm...." Anika asks her with raised eyebrow.
"Ummm...." Sukanya looks at her mother who had completely changed the topic and was looking at her for answers that she didn't even think about. Being confused Sukanya turned to her father pouting who couldn't help chuckle at the situation.
"Don't look at me. Ye tumhara raita hai tum hi sameto." (This is all your mess, you only sort it out.)
"Not fair." Sukanya cribs and turns to her only hope her brother who seemed pretty dull at the moment.
"Bhai... are you okay."
"Uhh... Yes." Atharv says realising that evryone's attention is on him now.
"Atharv..." Anika holds his hand but he walks away.
"Ummm.... I guess we should go downstains everyone must be waiting for us."
Whatever colour Sukanya's face had gained a while ago had dropped again seeing her brother. "Bhai... Are you upset from me."
"No... Are you mad. How can I be upset with you? Tell me how are you feeling now." He asks gently creasing her face.
"I am fine now, bhai."
"Good. Let's go downstairs you should eat something now, doll. You have to take your medicine later as well." Taking her hand he walks towards the door only to be stopped by Shivaay.
"Atharv... wait." Shivaay gets up from bed and walks to him. "I know I have hurt you too much, way too much and I can never justify it but I can rectify it for sure." Shivaay's hand gripped Atharv's hand which went completely motionless as he looked away hiding his moist eyes. "I know I shouldn't have asked you to leave. I am sorry buddy. I don't know what had gotten into me, I was so scared...."
"I know you were... so was Suk, maa and I. I don't know how you see leaving people as a solution because I have always found it as my life's major problem and I thought the same was true with you. Hmmm..."
"I know... I know... I was impulsive. It was done in heat of moment Atharv."
"No dad, it wasn't. You don't know but a day before you said that Anya heard you and maa talking and she was crying alone in her room. She didn't know what to do. How to stop you guys? How to stop Suk, maa and me from going. Dad your decisions effect everyone in this family and that's not even the point. How could you even think that I will leave you?" Saying that taking Suk's hand Atharv walked out of the room making Shivaay regret even thinking about that very thought. He curses himself. Not just the four of them were in the situation but the entire family was and his little princess too cried because of him and it wasn't fair to anyone. Seeing Shivaay's condition Anika pulled him out of the room and speeded out of the room to stop Atharv on his way and when she did she stands in front of Atharv holding Shivaay's arms.
"Atharv, sometimes in life even the wisest of us can make the most foolish mistakes. If Shivaay had meant those words and I had not known his intentions I would have never forgiven him, not in my entire life. But I know him and so do two of you, he never meant those words and mistake isn't his alone. He just thought about it and yes he said out loud but you both left the house without a single thought. Did you even counter him, confront him or fight with him. No you didn't. You both just left. Is that what you do? Parents can say anything when they are angry or disturbed, don't you guys. That doesn't mean we always mean that. Yes he had talked to me about it and I had even thought of how to talk him out of his decision but then in the moment he said it and you both agreed. You could have stayed, told him that this is your house and you aren't leaving but you didn't. So it's not just our fault it's your equally. Both of your'. So don't you dare walk out on him like that ever again, he is your father. Better remember that." Anika said as her temper rose to a higher notch. She was done with their fights especially at the time when they should work together as a family.
Both Sukanya and Atahrv had their head down listening to their mother's angry rant while Shivaay was kinda shocked seeing not so well seen avatar of Anika. It's crazy how a woman can change her avatar from calm to storm and maybe no one will ever know.
"Anika it's alright you don't have to shout at them." Shivaay says gently looking at his children's gloomy faces.
"Shut up, Shivaay. I am done with all of you having your own grudges with each other and me having to suffer the consequences too. You were angry with Shivaay, not with me you could have come to me, talk to me but all of you decided against it. So just for your information I am not so happy with you guys either. Is it that you don't trust us or you feel that you are to grown up to handle everything. None of you for once even thought about me."
Anika's anger was just on the verge of bursting when three people with the most innocent voice said, "Sorry..."
Anika glares them resulting in all of them holding their ears, "It won't happen again mumma..."
"I mean Anika..." Shivaay corrects himself as he mistakenly said 'mumma' too making the both kids to chuckle and Anika to nod in disbelief.
"Your anger is justified mumma we all made mistakes. We all are sorry." Atharv apologises while other two nod their heads frantically in agreement.
"And what about Shivaay and you."
"I won't talk to him." Shivaay's face hangs down as it saddens him to know that his son won't forgive him.
"Atharv, it's enough."
"But mumma he always does that. He always scares me soooooooo much. He always troubles me. It's not done."
Anika sighs looking at the duo as Atharv was justified at his place, "What can I do when you have got such a troublesome son' who behaves your age."
Shivaay's mouth opens as a big 'O' in complete astonishment at Anika's words.
"What don't look at me like that, apologise to him."
"I have already apologised..." Shivaay says but a glare from Anika makes him repeat his apology but is cut by Atharv.
"I don't want his apology just ask him to promise that he will never say anything like that."
Shivaay firmly grasps Atharv's shoulders and looking in his eyes says genuinely, "I promise I will never say anything of this sort again. I will never ask you to leave me in your entire life, no matter what. Hmm..."
Atharv nods and Shivaay pulls him in a hug as he kisses his forehead.
"Me too..." Sukanya says opening her arms and joining the hug and they pull Anika in too.
"Hye guys by the way we have a bigger fish to fry." They all nod and head downwards together.

To be continued...

Big shocking revelation coming up next.....

Keep smiling
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For now signing off
SHIVIKA...