Luke's Diary: An Unlucky Man In A Zombie Apocalypse. Entries 757 to 956

Entry 928: Friday 12th April 2019

Entry 928
Friday 12th April 2019

We're still underneath the pyramid. After what I've seen today, I think we need to get out of here sooner rather than later. Trudy has told me how she thinks we can sell the virus to Xanthes and steal it back, but I have to be honest; I am NOT comfortable with what she's suggested.

The day started with Richard, Trudy and I eating another amazing breakfast whilst talking about our situation. "Trudy, I think you should go and see Xanthes today," I said, "You really p*ssed him off yesterday." "All I did was ask him a question," said Trudy. "Yes," I said, "But after what happened at dinner yesterday it's obvious that Gemma told Tara, when they spoke over the radio, not to ask Xanthes about his plans for the virus. You've p*ssed him off." "So?" said Trudy, "He still wants this bl**dy virus doesn't he? If he was that p*ssed off he'd have chucked us all out. We're still here. That tells you something." "I just want to go home," said Richard. "Yeah, we all want to go home, Richard," said Trudy. "Really?" I said, "You look like you're enjoying shovelling all those beans and mushrooms in your mouth. Anyone'd think you didn't want to get back to The Isle of Wight." "Of course, I want to get back you thick tw*t," said Trudy, "But what I really want, is to kill that b*tch Tara." As Trudy continued shovelling a load of bacon and beans into her big mouth Gemma came over. "Tara," she said, "I need you talk to you," "Can it wait?" asked Trudy, "I've got a gob full of beans and bacon here." "No, it can't wait," Gemma assertively said. Trudy rolled her eyes, swallowed her mouthful of food and walked over to the door with Gemma. Richard and I looked over. It looked like they were having a rather intense conversation. "Looks tense," said Richard, "What do you think they're talking about?" "Well I doubt it's the weather," I said.

A few moments later Gemma left the breakfast area and Trudy returned to the table where Richard and I were sat. "What did she say?" I asked. "Who?" asked Trudy. "Who?" I sarcastically said, "Who? Sarah Ferguson, Duchess of York – who the Hell do you think I'm on about? Gemma of course!" "She just told me what you more or less said," said Trudy, "Xanthes is p*ssed off and that I shouldn't ask him what he plans to do with the virus again if I want me money." "So, they're still going to buy the virus off us?" "Course they are," said Trudy, "I told you, didn't I? That big fat gay snooker ball wants this virus. He's desperate. He might not like people asking him what he wants to do with it, but he's more bothered about getting the virus than he is about us asking him questions he doesn't want to answer." "So, didn't she say anything that shows she's on to us?" I asked. "No," said Trudy, "I think she just wants us to sell the virus and sod off. She still thinks I'm Tara." "B*llocks," I said, "After yesterday, there's no way she believes you're really Tara. She's on to us. She's clearly suspicious." "Well that's not the impression I just got," said Trudy, "She wants us to sell the virus and go. She said something about making sure I stick to what we agreed when we spoke on the radio. I just nodded and went along with it." "Yes, but did she say WHAT her and Tara agreed to when they spoke?" I asked. "I don't bl**dy know, do I?" said Trudy, "I wasn't going to ask. I'm supposed to know, already aren't I? Look, don't panic. We'll sell the virus, get the cash, steal the virus back and then we can get out of here." "We still need a plan to think about how we'll get the virus back once we've sold it to Xanthes," I said. "Yeah, I'm still working on that," said Trudy. "Well hurry up," I said, "Time's running out."

Later in the day after I'd been in the steam room, I was walking down one of the corridors back to my room wearing nothing but a towel when all of a sudden Xanthes appeared in front of me. He was wearing yet another flamboyant kimono and stood before me with a flirtatious yet menacing look on his face. This was the first time I'd seen Xanthes on his own. "Jeeves," he said, "How lovely to see you. How lovely to see – SO MUCH of you. Oooh, I didn't expect to see you all wet and sweaty." "I've just been in the steam room," I said. "Lovely isn't it?" said Xanthes, "A pure Godsend." Xanthes stood in front of me, and an awkward silence lingered as he clearly perved on me and looked me up and down. "Erm, I should go and get dressed," I said. "Oh no, no, no, no, no, no, no," said Xanthes, "I'm glad I bumped into you. I wanted to show you something. "Well, can I get dressed first?" I said. "No need sweetheart," said Xanthes, "It'll only take a tick." Xanthes took hold of my hand. "Come with me," he said. Tightly clutching my towel to make sure it didn't drop to the floor; I was guided down the corridor by Xanthes. I had no idea where he was taking me, but we eventually arrived outside a large heavy looking bronze door with two large statues of naked men outside; one to the left of the door, one to the right. "Xanthes, what's going on?" I asked. Xanthes smiled at me and produced a key that he had on a long gold chain around his neck. "We're going inside here," said Xanthes with a slightly creepy tone to his voice. "And what's in there?" I asked. "All will be revealed," said Xanthes, as he looked down at my crotch, "Perhaps sooner rather than later if you continue to struggle holding on to that towel."