Luke's Diary: An Unlucky Man In A Zombie Apocalypse. Entries 757 to 956

Entry 801: Thursday 6th December 2018

Entry 801
Thursday 6th December 2018

After yesterday's traumatic events I had a brilliant night's sleep. I have been fully exonerated of rape, Mum is back and a there's been a number of deaths...

Early yesterday evening I was at home with Leo, Ash and Mia when TJ suddenly burst into the house and entered the living room. "Jesus Christ," said Ash, "Does anyone around here knock?" I wasn't feeling very well and thought I had the flu coming on so I wasn't in the mood for any TJ related dramas. "Come on Nanna," said TJ, "Get up." "What do you mean?" I bluntly asked, "Where are we going?" "We're off to Catherine's flat," said TJ. "You what!?" I exclaimed. "Oh TJ, don't be stupid," said an annoyed Ash, "Luke can't go anywhere near Catherine." "She's at work," said TJ, "If we break into her flat, we can look for something that might prove Luke's innocence." "Luke what?" asked a blunt Ash, "A big f*cking sign that says 'LUKE DIDN'T RAPED ME. I LIED. SIGNED CATHERINE RENNISION.' You idiot." "I'm not an idiot," snapped, "TJ, as he produced a small technical looking contraption. "What's that?" asked Mia. "It's a tape recorder," said TJ, "Luke. Remember what I said yesterday about how I used a tape recorder?" "Err... Yeah," I said. "Well I've got an idea," said TJ, "One, we break into Catherine's and look for anything that might help, two, when she comes home, I'll hide with the tape recorder, three, you get her to admit lying about accusing you of rape and I'll record it." "Oh, for God's sake," said Ash, "What a stupid idea." "Oh, I don't know," I said, contemplating what TJ suggested, "If we can get her confession on tape then I'm in the clear." "Oh, come on," said Ash, rolling his eyes, "Catherine will hit the roof when she's sees you've broken into her flat. Plus, Blade lives in the same apartment building. This has got disaster written all over it. You'll look guilty as Hell. Intimidating the alleged victim and all that." "Ash, it's about time I stood up to this b*tch," I snapped, "Yeah she might not be happy if she sees I've broken in but she's hardly going to let me in if I knock on the door. If me and TJ are careful, this might work. Mia, will you look after Leo?" "For the record; I think this is a bad idea," said a firm Ash. "For the record; you can suck my c*ck," TJ snapped at Ash, "Come on Nanna, let's do this." "Hang on," said Ash, "How exactly are you going to break in?" TJ produced a key from his pocket. "Is that the key to Catherine's flat?" asked Ash. "No!" TJ, sarcastically said, "It's the key to Buckingham Police." "How did you get that?" asked Mia. "I got Trudy to nick it out of Catherine's bag ta work," said TJ. "Oh my God, this just keeps getting worse," said Ash, "Theft, breaking and entering. What next? Murder?" "Oh, chill out Grandma," said TJ, "We should start calling you Nanna. Come on Luke, let's go." "Luke, please," said Ash, "Doesn't listen to TJ. This is a bad idea. Don't do this. Mia tell him." "Look, I've made my mind up," I said, "I'm doing." "Well if it all goes t*ts up, which it probably will," said Ash, "Me and Mia know nothing about it." "Fine," I firmly said. I grabbed my coat and got ready to leave which caused Ash to worry even further. "Luke, you're not going to end up having sex with her, are you?" he asked. "Of course not!" I loudly exclaimed. "Actually, that's not a bad idea," said TJ, "If I can record you and Catherine shagging then that's bound to go in your favour." "Are you sure you want to go Luke?" asked Mia, "You don't look very well. Maybe you're coming down with the flu?" "Well I don't feel very well," I said, "And maybe I am coming down with the flu but I don't care. This could be chance to clear my name." "Look, if you're really going to do this, just sit down and talk it through first," said Ash, "I'll make us all some tea and we can thrash this out." "We've thrashed this out," I firmly said, "I'm in the zone now. I want to do this." "OK," said Ash, "If I can't talk you out of it, let's just go through what you're going to do one more time. I'll put the kettle on." "No!" I snapped, "I don't need to talk it through anymore and I don't need any bl**dy tea. I'm doing this and I'm doing it now. If we get caught and it all goes wrong, I won't mention any of you." Mia gave me a hug and told me to be careful. I gave Leo a kiss and then TJ and I left an anxious Mia and a rather worried Ash and walked out of the house.